Money is important in most people’s lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. What do you feel are the right uses of money? What other factors are important for a good life? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

#money #people’s #lives #people #right #factors #life

this

modern era, the significance of materialism cannot be denied.

However

, there could be right and wrong ways to s

pent

Suggestion

spend

money

. Only

money

cannot buy happiness, quality life has included several other influential components. In my perspective, everybody urges to have sufficient monitory assistance to f

ulfill

put in effect

fulfil

their necessities as well as their luxuries, but the direction of spending

money

always matters. Beside

this

, good

health

and relationship

also

their own importance.

Although

, everybody wanted to have a lot of

oney but

Accept comma addition

money, but

few of them can understand the responsibility, which comes up with that

money

For instance

, many celebrities and business tycoons run NGOs to help needy people in different areas of w

orld.

Suggestion

the world

Some of them, invested in

health

and education sectors to support poor peoples. They a

re not only provided

Suggestion

are not only providing

do not only provide

their own

oney but

Accept comma addition

money, but

also

encourage other established individuals to assist their cause.

Therefore

, the right use of

money

should always be obliged. On the flip side, only

money

is not enough to spend a happy life. According to my personal experience, most of the rich people have to do a lot of work to earn good

money

. Sometimes, they are intentionally or unintentionally ignoring their

health

and ruined their relationships due to their tough routine. Ultimately, they will be ended up i

Suggestion

with

depression and stress.

Consequently

, healthy body and good association with our relations are considerable features along with

money

. For what has been discussed above, it can be concluded that, the right direction to spend

money

is to support needy people.

Secondly

, other aspects of quality life beside the

money

, are good

health

and relations with our loved once.

Fri Feb 07 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Money is important in most people’s lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. What do you feel are the right uses of money? What other factors are important for a good life? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the past, people used to travel aboard to look for many differences from their home country. Nowadays, cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Question : Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. •What problems can lack of sleep cause? •What can be done about lack of sleep?

Some people prefer to relax by doing physical activities, while others choose mental activities such as crossword puzzles or chess. Discuss the both views and include your own opinion.

It is impossible to help all the people in the world who are in need, so governments should focus on people from their own country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?