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Band 4.5

Money is important in most people’s lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. What do you feel are the right uses of money? What other factors are important for a good life? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

#money #people’s #lives #people #right #factors #life
In
this
 modern era, the significance of materialism cannot be denied.
However
, there could be right and wrong ways to s
pent
Suggestion
spend
money
. Only
money
 cannot buy happiness, quality life has included several other influential components. In my perspective, everybody urges to have sufficient monitory assistance to f
ulfill
put in effect
fulfil
their necessities as well as their luxuries, but the direction of spending
money
 always matters. Beside
this
, good
health
 and relationship
also
 their own importance.
Although
, everybody wanted to have a lot of
m
oney but
Accept comma addition
money, but
few of them can understand the responsibility, which comes up with that
money
.
For instance
, many celebrities and business tycoons run NGOs to help needy people in different areas of w
orld.
Suggestion
the world
 Some of them, invested in
health
 and education sectors to support poor peoples. They a
re not only provided
Suggestion
are not only providing
do not only provide
their own
m
oney but
Accept comma addition
money, but
also
 encourage other established individuals to assist their cause.
Therefore
, the right use of
money
 should always be obliged. On the flip side, only
money
 is not enough to spend a happy life. According to my personal experience, most of the rich people have to do a lot of work to earn good
money
. Sometimes, they are intentionally or unintentionally ignoring their
health
 and ruined their relationships due to their tough routine. Ultimately, they will be ended up i
n
Suggestion
with
depression and stress.
Consequently
, healthy body and good association with our relations are considerable features along with
money
. For what has been discussed above, it can be concluded that, the right direction to spend
money
 is to support needy people.
Secondly
, other aspects of quality life beside the
money
, are good
health
 and relations with our loved once.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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