Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#childhood #obesity #australia #two #thirds #children #schools #responsibility #students #amount #exercise

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There is an

upgrowing

rate higher; raise in value or esteem

upgrading

issue of bulky children in Australia every

second

Linking Words

child

Use synonyms

has overweight.

Acording

Suggestion

A cording

to some people,

schools

Suggestion

Schools

should be given the charge of checking the eating habits of their pupils and proportion of doing exercises too.

I personally

Accept comma addition

I, personally

Accept space

do not agree with

this

Linking Words

slant because

istitutes

judge tentatively or form an estimate of (quantities or time)

estimates

are the places of learning,

however

Linking Words

, it is the job of parents

instead

Linking Words

of instructors, to nourish their

chidren

a young person of either sex

children

in a good manner

Accept space

Undoubtedly, teenage obesity is becoming a serious issue of

western world

Suggestion

the western world

, because youth of those countries is mad

Suggestion

about

eating junk food

instead

Linking Words

of various other nutritional products

moreover

Linking Words

slugish

moving slowly

sluggish

life style

Suggestion

also causes

also

Linking Words

cause of becoming

blubby

Suggestion

.Obese

child

Use synonyms

are

Suggestion

at the risk of getting an unfit adulthood

that is

Linking Words

why, it is

necessay

absolutely essential

necessary

to control the weight of a

child

Use synonyms

according to mass index. It is the viewpoint of some thinkers that educational places have a prominent role is term of checking the habits of a

child

Use synonyms

even the eating habits too.But I oppose to these thinkers because parents have control over their

chid

a young person of either sex

child

and its actions. Some mothers

are too much strucked

Suggestion

too much strike

are too much struck

are too much stacked

are too much strict

in their jobs that they tend to say to their kids to eat

rfast

acting or moving or capable of acting or moving quickly

fast

food which is full of sugars and fats,

owveruse

exploitation to the point of diminishing returns

overuse

of these foods

finally

Linking Words

makes the

child

Use synonyms

heavy

then

Linking Words

how schools could investigate these flaws of health even if their parents promote them

Accept space

All in all, schools have the role of teaching and educating a

child

Use synonyms

to train him for the

future it

Accept comma addition

future, it

is the task of parents to cater their

child

Use synonyms

Accept space

Submitted by burhan.muneeb82830 on Fri Feb 07 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

263 words

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Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia. As many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

It was predicted that people living in the twenty-first century would have more free time than ever before because of improvements in technology. To what extent has this prediction come true?

Presently, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some businesses prohibit smoking in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree that this is the right course of action? Give reasons for your opinion.

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

"Prevention is better than cure". Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventative measures. To what extent do you agree.