The diagram below shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1959.

The diagram below shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1959.
This
diagram illustrates information about the development, which was in the West Park Secondary
School
, since its renovation in the year 1950.
Overall
, it can be seen that there were houses and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
farmland, which disappeared
at the end
of the period.
Furthermore
, the main road hasn't changed during the past 60 years. In 1950, there was a main road
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the north. Opposite the main road, there was a
school
on the left side and some accommodations for the inhabitants.
Moreover
, there was a big playground for the children of the
school
, to be there is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
break time.
Next
to the playground, on the left side was a huge farmland. In 1980, the houses were replaced by a car park and the science block.
Furthermore
, the farmland was replaced by a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
field for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
activities. In the year 2010, the government increased the car park size and made the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
field a bit smaller.
Submitted by rehanauddin9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: