The diagram below shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1959.

#changes #place #west #park #school #construction

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This

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diagram illustrates information about the development, which was in the West Park Secondary

School

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, since its renovation in the year 1950.

Overall

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, it can be seen that there were houses and

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farmland, which disappeared

at the end

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of the period.

Furthermore

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, the main road hasn't changed during the past 60 years. In 1950, there was a main road

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the north. Opposite the main road, there was a

school

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on the left side and some accommodations for the inhabitants.

Moreover

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, there was a big playground for the children of the

school

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, to be there is

the

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break time.

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to the playground, on the left side was a huge farmland. In 1980, the houses were replaced by a car park and the science block.

Furthermore

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, the farmland was replaced by a

sport

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sports

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field for

the

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school

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activities. In the year 2010, the government increased the car park size and made the

sport

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sports

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field a bit smaller.

Submitted by rehanauddin9 on Fri Feb 07 2020

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

158 words

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The diagram below shows the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1959.

Many people around the wolrd use social media everyday to keep in touch wit other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many products that we buy are made in other countries. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon.

An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

Scientists that computers will become more intelligent than human Some find it is a positive trend while others think it is a negative development. Discuss points and give your own opinion.