In many nations, It is mandatory for youngsters to serve in military services after the completion of secondary education. Some individuals argue that all countries should adopt this concept for both men and possibly include women as well. I agree with the statement as it instils discipline and patriotism in the young generation.

The main reason why I believe that military training is important for youngsters is because it plays a crucial role in their personal and character development.

Due to

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emotional immaturity, youngsters are often distracted and unclear about their career paths. Serving in military service after leaving school would give them enough time to explore their passion and clarity towards their future goals.

Moreover

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, military service teaches discipline, time management and teamwork.It

also

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encourages physical and mental resilience.

For example

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, countries like South Korea have seen positive impacts on youth behaviour. Another reason why I support the notion that military services should be compulsory is because it promotes national unity and patriotism. It builds a sense of pride and unity among citizens and encourages them to value peace and national security.

Moreover

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, citizens with basic military training can help in natural disasters and environmental crises. The inclusion of women in the military would break stereotypes and promote equal responsibility. In conclusion, making military services compulsory for both men and women can bring numerous benefits

such

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as instilling discipline, promoting physical fitness and strengthening national unity. It ensures that citizens are well prepared to face emergencies and contribute meaningfully to their country.

Therefore

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, it would be wise to advise all countries to make military services compulsory, possibly including women to build a more responsible and resilient society.

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Jul 2, 2025

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task achievement

Try to elaborate more on your points to strengthen your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure your paragraphs are well-linked for better flow.

coherence and cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, showing good structure.

task achievement

You provided strong examples, especially about South Korea, which supports your ideas well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

224 words

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Fully explain your ideas

Spoken communication is always more powerful than written communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? In order to reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars?

Many young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating high school. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to teach them this important skill?

The consumption of the world’s resources is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are the causes and solutions?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.