Many animal species in the world are becoming extinct nowadays. Some people say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say we should concentrate more on problems of human beings. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There has been a heated debate about whether extinct
animals
should be preserved by governments and individuals or not. A section of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society believes that human
beings
are beneficial
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
from conserving them,
while
others argue that governments should
put
Verb problem
pay
show examples
more attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
human
beings
ourselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. From my perspective, conserving endangered
animals
is
human
Correct pronoun usage
one human
show examples
beings’
Change noun form
being’s
show examples
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
and
duties
Fix the agreement mistake
duty
show examples
. Admittedly, it is a waste of resources to prevent
animals
from extinction for those countries who are still struggling with making their lives. Especially
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
developing countries and the third world, people are not living the basic
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
of standard lives and will confront
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
huge challenges of making their own lives if the limited resources of countries are allocated to protecting endangered
animals
. With that said, it is essential to preserve animal species that are in the phase of extinction since their existences bring abundant benefits to human
beings
.
To begin
with, biodiversity is one of the most imperative properties that human possesses. To be more specific,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
inspired
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
animals
invents
Correct subject-verb agreement
invent
show examples
a variety of inventions,
such
as
aeroplane
Fix the agreement mistake
aeroplanes
show examples
, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
invented from the observation of birds, and radar, working with the
principle
Fix the agreement mistake
principles
show examples
that are
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
as
bat’s
Change the noun form
bats
bat
show examples
.
Moreover
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
disappearance of one animal species may cause a chain reaction. To put it another way, the economic system is composed of a variety of
animals
, and
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
of one
specie
Fix the agreement mistake
species
show examples
may cause the disappearance of others.
Therefore
, protecting
animals
is vital for human
beings
. In conclusion,
although
the huge financial cost of conserving endangered
animals
is not what every country can afford, preventing
the
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
from disappearing is greatly significant.
Submitted by hohang210 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Expand on the reasons for prioritizing the protection of endangered animals over human problems to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is logically connected to the preceding one to improve coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • cascading effects
  • economic impacts
  • ecosystem
  • endangered species
  • environmental conservation
  • human welfare
  • moral duty
  • preserve
  • sustainable practices
  • habitats
  • interconnected
  • extinction
  • advocates
  • opponents
  • priority
What to do next:
Look at other essays: