IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, it creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#tourism #industry #world #tension #people #cultures
According to certain researches on global
basis it
Accept comma addition
basis, it
 is said that international travelling and tours have become one of the biggest revenue generated sector. Some people arguably
acuse
give rise to; cause to happen or occur, not always intentionally
cause
this
 trend as they consider
this
 to be a major reason for international tension. Perhaps, I would personally disagree with
this
 as there are many global advantages of tourism.
Firstly
, people who think that that welcoming tourist of different culture into your zone is a threat to their values and traditions are
some how
in some unspecified way or manner; or by some unspecified means
somehow
 right at their place. As individuals belonging from different areas with various practices indulge with them can result in demolishing their culture and can create the
internaational
Suggestion
international
International
internationally
 differences.
However
,
on the other hand
, tourism can be the major cause of ending racism around the
globle
the 3rd planet from the sun; the planet we live on
globe
global
. People with different
region collaborating
Accept comma addition
region, collaborating
 with each other creates an excellent sense of unity.
Moreover
, adapting cultural values develops an emotional bonding between people of two distinct cultures.
Nevertheless
, international tourism is one of the
highly
Suggestion
highest
higher
high
 earning
sector
Suggestion
sectors
 that can help any developing country to overcome their problems on
state basis
Suggestion
a state basis
. In my personal opinion, people should adopt
this
 culture, whereas, they should not
destory
do away with, cause the destruction or undoing of
destroy
 their own values and traditions. As
this
 will be helpful for each nation in developing their own sites
this
 trend should encouraged.
Submitted by itskeithdycus on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: