IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The tendency of news reports in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies rather than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#tendency #news #reports #media #focus #emergencies #developments #individuals #society
News
Suggestion
The news
 reported by media has
collosally
in a close relation or position in time or space
closely
 been addressed to concern and critical situations around
in contrast
 to optimistic growth these
days which
Accept comma addition
days, which
 has been scathing either person or
popullation
the people who inhabit a territory or state
population
populations
 in some or other way. I completely agree with above said statement
.
Accept space
.
Firstly
,
Accept space
,
 In
this
 fast running era
,
Accept space
,
 when they have actually limited amount of time to see news
,
Accept space
,
 people want to be happy and seeks positive developmental reports which are quenchable
and and
in order to; used instead of "to", especially after try, come, go
and
 not concerned
to
Suggestion
with
 problems
.
Accept space
.
Furthermore
,
Accept space
,
media
Suggestion
the media
 should focus on women empowerment and
thier
of them or themselves
their
 growth in society
.
Accept space
.
For example
,
Accept space
,
 In 2007
,
Accept space
,
india
a republic in the Asian subcontinent in southern Asia; second most populous country in the world; achieved independence from the United Kingdom in 1947
India
 times reported that there were only 30 percent women who use to go to work
in contrast
 to which in 2019 growth of working female was reported to
plunged
Suggestion
plunge
 nearly 50 times
.
Accept space
.
Instead
 media focus more on loot
,
Accept space
,
 laundering
,
Accept space
,
 fraud
,
Accept space
,
political issues which had
tendency
Suggestion
tended
 to cause mental trauma and depression
.
Accept space
.
Also
,
Accept space
,
 Media forget to focus on infrastructure and economic development
.
Accept space
.
In upcoming time, India is going to become booming economy as world have
lot number
Suggestion
a lot number
 of investors to invest
on
Suggestion
in
developing nation
Suggestion
developing nations
.
For instance
,
Accept space
,
 Recently
,
Accept space
,
 The Jeff Bejos
,
Accept space
,
 World leading
enterpreuner
someone who organizes a business venture and assumes the risk for it
entrepreneur
interpreter
 came to
india
a republic in the Asian subcontinent in southern Asia; second most populous country in the world; achieved independence from the United Kingdom in 1947
India
indie
 and signed
bussiness
a commercial or industrial enterprise and the people who constitute it
business
 proposal worth 5 billion
dollard
the basic monetary unit in many countries; equal to 100 cents
dollars
 to be invested in
india
a republic in the Asian subcontinent in southern Asia; second most populous country in the world; achieved independence from the United Kingdom in 1947
India
.
Accept space
.
Although
,
Accept space
,
Such
 positive news remained uncovered by
media whereas
Accept comma addition
media, whereas
 they will focus more on news like student
been
the state or fact of existing
being
 threatened in university hostel campus as
thy
people in general
they
 suspect one of the
student
Suggestion
students
 to be a terrorist
.
Accept space
.
 To wrap it
,
Accept space
,
 I conclude by saying that media plays
vital role
Suggestion
a vital role
 and leaves impression on
youth
Suggestion
the youth
 of our country by every statement they come up with
.
Accept space
.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
 they need to come up with news which depicts
positive developmental aspect
Suggestion
positive developmental aspects
a positive developmental aspect
 of our nations.
Submitted by anuragdhaliwal on

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