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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows social and economic indicators for dour countries in 1994, according to united Nations statistics --DELETED LINK--

The table below shows social and economic indicators for dour countries in 1994, according to united Nations statistics --DELETED LINK--
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The table gives information
of
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on
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 social and economic indicators for
Canada
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,
Japan
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,
Peru
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, and
Zaire
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 as stated by the United Nations statistics in 1994, As is observed from the given data,
Canada
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 and
Japan
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 had
a
Correct article usage
apply
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far better economic and social conditions
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 the other two.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest annual
income
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 is 15.100
dollars
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 in
Japan
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, followed by
Canada
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 with
annual
Correct article usage
an annual
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income
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 per person
15.760
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of 15.760
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dollars
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. The
third
Linking Words
 highest, annual
income
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 is 160
dollars
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 in
Peru
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.
While
Linking Words
 the lowest
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
Zairu
Correct your spelling
Zaire
 with
the
Correct article usage
an
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income
Use synonyms
 of 130
dollars
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. Life expectancy that showed in the table gives information that the highest life expectancy is 78 years in
Japan
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,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
second
Linking Words
 is 76 years in
Canada
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 followed by 51 in
Peru
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, and the lowest is 47 years old in
Zaire
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.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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 the adult literacy rate in
Canada
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 is 99% same as
Use synonyms
Japan
Change preposition
in Japan
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, followed by
Peru
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68
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at 68
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% and the
last
Linking Words
 one is
Zaire
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34
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at 34
show examples
% In Conclusion,
Japan
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 and
Canada
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 were two socially and economically developed countries.
However
Linking Words
,
Peru
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 and
Zaire
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 were two undeveloped countries with poor life expectancy,
earning
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earnings
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, food supply, and literacy rates.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words canada, japan, peru, zaire, income, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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