IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Government should spend more money on education than on recreation and sports. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #education #recreation #sports
It is often stated that more money should be invested on academics than on extra curricular activities by the Government. In my opinion, both are equally important,
therefore
, I disagree with the above statement.
Firstly
, recreation is important for the mental health. The famous saying " All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" applies to
this
 situation. If an individual spends the whole day studying, he or she will not learn to interact with others which could lead to personality disorders.
For example
, taking part in sports would develop team spirit or participating in the Art's and Crafts would improve their creative side.
In addition
, it
also
 assists in improving behaviour and positivity.
That is
 why, it is important that education and recreation is given equal importance, as it would help in the overall mental development of individuals.
Secondly
, engaging in activities, assists in improving the physical self. Recreation, especially outdoor ones, encourages good physical health by increasing stamina, flexibility, endurance and body strength, to name a few.
Moreover
, doing physical activities at an early age would imbibe a culture of discipline.
For instance
, a child who is involved in a sport and regularly practices the same would develop a routine over a period of time.
This
 practice would, in the long run, have a positive impact on the child's lifestyle. Due to which it is important that extra curriculum are given the same value as academics. In light of the above, I strongly believe that recreation should be given the same value as education, as it helps in keeping good mental and physical health.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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