IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

1. The best way to travel is travelling in a group led by a tour guide. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#travel #group #tour #guide
Nowadays, the role of
tour
 guides in tourist industries is widely debated, with some people claiming that the most convenient way to travel is travelling in groups with a
tour
guide
. Personally, I agree that
this
 trend is a sensible idea for two main reasons, and I will explain why in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, travelling with a
tour
guide
 would help
visitors
 acquire more knowledge about the
places
 they visit. The
tour
 guides are specially trained about the local culture and traditions or history of heritage sites.
Therefore
 they would be able to explain clearly
as well as
 provide useful details for
visitors
 about the
places
.
In addition
,
visitors
 could save time by not having to find sightseeing
places
 because
tour
 guides know thoroughly about geographical areas and
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 plan a set route about the most attractive
places
 for
visitors
 during the trip.
Consequently
,
visitors
 could enhance their experience and broaden their horizons about local culture and history.
Furthermore
, when travelling in other countries, a
tour
guide
 could help us remove language barriers. The burden of languages or cultures would make
visitors
 face difficulties in communication with local people. Meanwhile, employing a
tour
guide
 could solve
this
 problem because they have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 in a language which is extremely helpful during travelling abroad.
For example
, Asian
visitors
 who do not speak English would be able to understand and communicate with European merchants by translating from a
guide
 when they want to buy specific products.
To conclude
, I believe that hiring a
tour
guide
 during the trip is the best way to travel because
visitors
 could acquire more knowledge
as well as
 remove language barriers.
Submitted by lychieuxien on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear logical structure by using a range of cohesive devices appropriately to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs. Aim to guide the reader through your argument without causing confusion.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to include a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main argument and viewpoints. The clarity of these components is essential for the reader to understand your position and the overview of your supporting points.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with a diverse collection of explanations, examples, and evidence. While your essay has relevant support, strive to utilize specific examples that are varied and offer deep insight into the argument presented.
task achievement
Address the task entirely, providing a full response to the prompt. While your essay has addressed the main aspects, ensure every part of the question is fully considered and answered in sufficient detail.
task achievement
Develop your ideas comprehensively, ensuring that your position on the topic is clearly stated and that your argument is easy for the reader to follow. Your essay demonstrates a clear comprehension of the ideas but benefit from further elaboration to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Incorporate specific and relevant examples to strengthen the ideas presented in your essay. The examples provided are somewhat generic; utilising more pointed and detailed instances can significantly bolster the persuasiveness of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • safety
  • organization
  • knowledgeable
  • itinerary
  • local customs
  • language barrier
  • freedom
  • flexibility
  • random
  • spontaneous
What to do next:
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