In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsiblity. What are your opinions on this?

#countries #children #work #people #responsiblity

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Engaging some

Suggestion

Engaging in some

children with some kind of paid

work

Use synonyms

is considered as a wrong treatment, while some people believe that it can contribute a more positive impact on them.

This

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essay will explain why I think the drawbacks of a paid

work

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for children are outweighed by the benefit. Considering

firstly

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the positives, the crucial advantage of having a job for children is they can earn some money to fund their life. Having a salary is a fundamental resource for them to learn how to live an independent life, and

as a result

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, they will start taking responsibility for their daily needs.

Besides

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earning money, paid

work

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is not only giving valuable

experience

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to get a future job, but

also

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improving their skill to deal with any problem

Suggestion

with

the working environment. The expertise that people need in the office,

for instance

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, emotional quotient, will be learned

effectively

Suggestion

effected

by their working

experience

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, not by the class process.

On the other hand

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, letting children

work

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also

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does present some problems.

For example

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, a paid job will distract them from their focus on learning the other necessary skills like numeracy and literacy in a school. School, as an educational institution, will equip both of those skills for their student.

This

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is a so critical because numeracy and literacy will help to improve logical thinking, problem-solving, and exploring new knowledge. To sum up,

although

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paid

work

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for children is beneficial in terms of giving valuable

experience

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, improving the learning process, and teaching to take responsibility, it will be more important to focus on the learning process in the school. If working

experience

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has an urgency, it can be combined as a vocational curriculum system.

Sun Feb 09 2020

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

281 words

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In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsiblity. What are your opinions on this?

There is a general increase in anti-social behaviours and lack of respect for others. What are the causes and solutions?

Nowadays, many people prefer to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reason for this? Do you think it is a positve or negative development?

An increasing number of people choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their apperance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?