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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Whether the extinction of plants and animals is of dominant importance
people
Use synonyms
 hold different views. In my opinion, I tend to argue that there are many other environmental troubles that are of great urgency. Admittedly, a wide range of species is on the verge of dying out,
although
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 they play a significant role in maintaining the balance of the ecological system. It is universally acknowledged that every kind of flora and fauna has a unique status in the environment, and the variety of species is favourable to the stability of that, which provides a solid foundation for
people
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 to acquire abundant natural resources and have a steady agricultural activity.
For example
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, the number of insects would jump rapidly if their predators
are
Wrong verb form
were
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 overhunted by humans, which could eventually damage the yield of crops.
Consequently
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,
people
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 might suffer a shortage of food.
However
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, I believe that
people
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 face more difficulties in the field of environment. The primary consideration is that the pollution of water has resulted in fierce problems. With the advancement of industrialization, there are more plants which require a quantity of water and produce numerous polluted water, some of which runs into rivers without purification.
This
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 asserts a devastating impact on freshwater which humans rely on and creatures which live in the rivers.
In addition
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, the emission of carbon dioxide damages the original temperature level, and the increased climate poses a threat to
human
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humans
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, of which extreme weather condition,
such
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 as
flood
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floods
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, is a telling example. In conclusion, I would like to reiterate that
besides
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 the extinction of species, we cannot afford to neglect other environmental problems as well since these issues are closer to our daily
life
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lives
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.
Furthermore
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, the solution to other troubles could
also
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 be conducive to protecting biological diversity.

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task response
Great response. Demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides a clear and comprehensive discussion of both views. Supports own opinion with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure is well-maintained, with a clear introduction and conclusion. Main points are effectively supported with relevant examples and explanations.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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