In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsiblity. What are your opinions on this?

Engaging some
Suggestion
Engaging in some
children with some kind of paid
work
is considered as a wrong treatment, while some people believe that it can contribute more positive impact for them.
This
essay will explain why
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
believe the drawbacks of a paid
work
for children are outweighed by the benefit. Considering
firstly
the positives, the crucial advantage of having a job for children is they can earn some money to fund their life. Having salary is a fundamental resource for them to learn how to live
a
Suggestion
an
independent life and as the result, they will start taking
responsiblity
the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force
responsibility
for their daily needs.
Besides
earning money, a paid
work
is not only giving a valuable
experience
to get a future job, but
also
improving their skill to deal with any problem in
working environment
Suggestion
a working environment
the working environment
. Skill that people need in the office,
for instance
emotional
quotion
a mathematical statement that two expressions are equal
equation
quotient
question
, will be
learnt
Suggestion
learned
effectively by their working
experience
, not by in class process.
On the other hand
, letting children to
work
also
does present some problem.
For example
, a paid job will distract them from their focus on learning the other basic skills like numeracy and literacy in a school. School as
a
Suggestion
an
education
Suggestion
educational
institution will equip both of those skills for their student.
This
is a so critical because because numeracy and literacy will help to improve logical thinking, problem solving and exploring new knowledge. To sum up,
although
paid
work
for children is
benefecial
promoting or enhancing well-being
beneficial
in terms of giving valuable
experience
, improving learning process, and teaching to take
responsibily
Suggestion
responsibility
responsible
, it will be more important to focus on
learning process
Suggestion
the learning process
in the school. If working
experience
has an urgency, it can be combined as
vocation curriculum system
Suggestion
a vocation curriculum system
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: