In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsiblity. What are your opinions on this?

Engaging some

Suggestion

Engaging in some

children with some kind of paid

work

Use synonyms

is considered as a wrong treatment, while some people believe that it can contribute more positive impact for them.

This

Linking Words

essay will explain why

refers to the speaker or writer

believe the drawbacks of a paid

work

Use synonyms

for children are outweighed by the benefit. Considering

firstly

Linking Words

the positives, the crucial advantage of having a job for children is they can earn some money to fund their life. Having salary is a fundamental resource for them to learn how to live

Suggestion

independent life and as the result, they will start taking

responsiblity

the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force

responsibility

for their daily needs.

Besides

Linking Words

earning money, a paid

work

Use synonyms

is not only giving a valuable

experience

Use synonyms

to get a future job, but

also

Linking Words

improving their skill to deal with any problem in

working environment

Suggestion

a working environment

the working environment

. Skill that people need in the office,

for instance

Linking Words

emotional

quotion

a mathematical statement that two expressions are equal

equation

quotient

question

, will be

learnt

Suggestion

learned

effectively by their working

experience

Use synonyms

, not by in class process.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, letting children to

work

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

does present some problem.

For example

Linking Words

, a paid job will distract them from their focus on learning the other basic skills like numeracy and literacy in a school. School as

Suggestion

education

Suggestion

educational

institution will equip both of those skills for their student.

This

Linking Words

is a so critical because because numeracy and literacy will help to improve logical thinking, problem solving and exploring new knowledge. To sum up,

although

Linking Words

paid

work

Use synonyms

for children is

benefecial

promoting or enhancing well-being

beneficial

in terms of giving valuable

experience

Use synonyms

, improving learning process, and teaching to take

responsibily

Suggestion

responsibility

responsible

, it will be more important to focus on

learning process

Suggestion

the learning process

in the school. If working

experience

Use synonyms

has an urgency, it can be combined as

vocation curriculum system

Suggestion

a vocation curriculum system

Feb 9, 2020

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsiblity. What are your opinions on this?

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at early age .punishment is necessary o help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes ( e.g working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children ). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Biotechnology companies all over the world are developing different types of genetically modified (GM) crops. However, not enough is known about these crops on our health and the environment. Interfering with nature in this way should be prohibited. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more business meetings are taking place online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?