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Band 4.5

the family values are deteriorating ,what are the positive and negative changes? what is your opinion

#values #changes
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It is nowadays observed that with changing times
,
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,
 family structure is changing and so is the role of family members
.
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.
Most of these changes are negative as
wil
the capability of conscious choice and decision and intention
will
well
 be discussed in detail. In the past, the word family mattered
alot which
Accept comma addition
a lot, which
a lot which
 meant living
togather
in contact with each other or in proximity
together
 and working in unity. These days people have become very busy in practical life and
donot
Suggestion
do not
 give time to the family. Children immediately after their high schools, leave
parents
Suggestion
parents'
 house in search of job and university education and rarely visit parents. Few would be lucky if they see their children on
christmas
a Christian holiday celebrating the birth of Christ; a quarter day in England, Wales, and Ireland
Christmas
 and thanksgiving, majority do not.
In addition
Linking Words
 the trend of
oldage
Suggestion
old age
 house is increasing as the parents reach old and fragile age
,
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,
they for the fear of being neglected at home are sent to old age shelters
,
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,
where they are prone to depressive illness. Mostly the changes in family structure and values have a detrimental effect on our
society
Use synonyms
.
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.
when
Suggestion
When
 the families have lunch, breakfast and dinner together most of the stresses are reduced as they discuss problems with their adult
.
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.
In addition
Linking Words
,
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,
the
grand parents
a parent of your father or mother
grandparents
 were
initailly
at the beginning
initially
 involved in
decison
the act of making up your mind about something
decision
 making, so their experience was very fruitful for the youngsters
.
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.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 lack of collaboration leads to
feeling
Suggestion
the feeling
 of being
isloated
not close together in time
isolated
,
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,
having no one to discuss problems
,
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,
which has resulted in
marked increase
Suggestion
a marked increase
 in incidence of depressive illness
.
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.
 Both the husband and wife are working in todays world world which leads to children being neglected
.
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.
The children are
future pillars
Suggestion
the future pillars
 of our
Use synonyms
society so if
Suggestion
society, so if
 they are not brought up well they may end up in immoral activities
.
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
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,
the incidence of drug addiction in teenagers is on the rise because they
donot
Suggestion
do not
 have a check from parents who are busy in earning money and making their own careers
.
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.
This
Linking Words
 may result in the future crippled
society
Use synonyms
 of incapable
,
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,
illiterate and neglected individuals who were
negelected
disregarded
neglected
 in
child hood
the time of person's life when they are a child
childhood
. In conclusion
,
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,
the family values have deteriorated over time and they need to be improved if we want a prosperous and
psycologically
with regard to psychology
psychologically
 stable
society
Use synonyms
.
Accept space
.
Submitted by eden2029 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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