IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Most people are not interested in how their food has been produced. They only care about how much it costs. How true is this statement? What influences people when they buy food?

#people #food #care #costs #influences
In
this
 day and age, thanks to technological development, the lack of
food
 and starvation are not considered severe problems.
However
, there is
also
 a phenomenon that the majority of
people
 do not pay attention to the method of
food
 production, they only care about its cost. In
this
 essay, I will discuss
this
 issue and what elements affect the decision of
people
 when they purchase
food
 products. On the one hand,
food
-producing techniques seem not to be in individuals’ favour at the outset of
this
 millennium. The younger generation nowadays tends to be so occupied with their daily basis that they rarely get enough time to cook by themselves.
As a result
, buying instant foods or going to restaurants and buying junk foods to save time becomes a new tendency.
For example
, with the same amount of money, it is less challenging to find good and convenient meals from a
food
 vendor than spending the same cost but more time and endeavour buying ingredients and cooking yourself after a very exhausting day.
Additionally
,
people
 who have a joint family
also
 have to consider their finances which leads to the purchasing of cheap
as well as
 a huge quantity of foodstuff.
On the other hand
,
besides
 prices and production methods, there are other aspects that affect customer’s buying habits, namely the origin of
food
. Conventional farming methods utilize a great number of pesticides and fertilizers that not only damage our environment and ecosystem but
also
 pose a detrimental threat to human health.
Hence
,
people
 prefer buying
food
that is
 examined and has a clear origin.
For instance
, plants grown with an organic method that uses no pesticides and artificial chemicals are believed to be good for health so most consumers are fond of it regardless of its higher price.
In addition
, housewives are usually concerned about the freshness. It is obvious that we can not make a delicious meal if its ingredients are low quality. In conclusion, I am not persuaded by the idea that everyone prioritizes the price when purchasing
food
 as other elements are
also
 paid attention to as they directly affect the
food
's nutritional value
as well as
people
's health.
Submitted by duongntt.tld on

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Introduction Clarity
A well-crafted introduction sets a strong foundation for your essay, but remember to more explicitly state your main point or argument in the introduction to direct readers more effectively.
Paragraphing and Linking
For a higher score, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that you use appropriate linking words to connect ideas smoothly within and across paragraphs.
Language Range and Accuracy
Incorporate a wider range of complex sentence structures and vocabulary tailored to your topic for greater clarity and impact.
Structural Organization
Your essay demonstrates a good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Evidence and Examples
You've provided relevant examples and evidence to support your points, which enhances the effectiveness of your argument.
Conclusion Effectiveness
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, reaffirming your stance on the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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