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Writing Samples
Band 4

New technology have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

#technology #children #time
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Technology is inevitable in
this
Linking Words
 world. Revolution in technological sector has immensely impacted little one's leisure
time
Use synonyms
. Children are becoming more and more addictive towards new gadgets and
also
Linking Words
, it has become
status symbol
Suggestion
a status symbol
the status symbol
 amongst affluent kids.
This
Linking Words
 essay is going to discuss both merits and demerits of youngsters using new high tech appliances in free
time
Use synonyms
. Interaction with new gadgets and using them for their academics can be
fruitfull
productive or conducive to producing in abundance
fruitful
grateful
 for young beings. In free
time
Use synonyms
 if children are involved with appliances which indulge them in
advancement
Suggestion
the advancement
 of their career. Right use of the technology is the key because these children are our future, which helps in moving them to their right track. To cite an example, a student who was working as a sweeper in railway station cleared IRTS exam by using free WiFi services in
railway station
Suggestion
a railway station
railway stations
the railway station
 in his free
time
Use synonyms
. So it can be said that utilization of these
technolgy
Suggestion
technologies
technology
 is important in
right direction
Suggestion
the right direction
. Little ones are becoming addictive to these high
technolgy
the practical application of science to commerce or industry
technology
 gadgets in their leisure
time
Use synonyms
. They are becoming unknown to the outside world and what it has to offer to them.
This
Linking Words
 has led to diseases in young
age which
Accept comma addition
age, which
 was never seen before. To
examplify
be characteristic of
exemplify
, teenagers are becoming so much involved in these
devices they
Accept comma addition
devices, they
 don't even have
time
Use synonyms
 to eat or sleep. Many cases are being summoned up for these actions and many governments are
also
Linking Words
 trying to limit the use of these devices. Misusing of
technolgy
the practical application of science to commerce or industry
technology
 can lead in
students career
Suggestion
a student's career
student's career
the student's career
 in abyss chasm. To recapitulate the facts, it can be said that there must be limitations of
time
Use synonyms
 in using these technological advancements. So that technology is used in
correct way
Suggestion
the correct way
a correct way
 as it was intended at
Use synonyms
time
Suggestion
the time
 of creation and
this
Linking Words
 essay
also
Linking Words
 agrees with the fact that there must be
balance
Suggestion
a balance
 amongst them.
Submitted by jazz on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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