Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children

A large number of criminals who serve their

first

lockup sentence leave jail only to offend.

This

is mainly because of the lack of rehabilitation and difficulty finding regular employment once released. There are a number of solutions which should be implemented to deal with criminals who offend.

Firstly

, the reason for most

first

-time offenders to commit crimes again, once they have been released from confinement, is the lack of rehabilitation whilst in jail.

In other words

, offenders are not given a chance to retrain and learn new skills for their future or develop a deeper understanding of correct moral behaviour.

Instead

, they mix with other criminals which only strengthens their criminal intentions.

Secondly

, repeat offending is

also

owing to the difficulty in finding employment after being released.

As a result

, many of them struggle financially and

this

forces them to go back to crime regardless of the consequences. There are two effective solutions to the problem of repeat offenders. One way to tackle

this

is to ensure that all criminals entering prison are given the chance to acquire useful skills which will hopefully ensure them a job after they have served their sentence. By doing

this

, they can get integrated back into the society and

also

find some means to support themselves financially. Another method of dealing with criminals who offend is to have more supervision and checks in place when they are back in society.

This

solution would hopefully prevent them from taking any chances and deter them from offending because they are being watched closely. In conclusion, providing vocational training in jail and monitoring their activities once they are out of prison are effective ways to deal with

this

issue. If governments implemented these solutions, crime figures would soon drop.

Submitted by zafarali5391702 on Sun Feb 09 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

compulsory
high school programmes
unpaid community service
charity
improving the neighbourhood
teaching sports
sense of responsibility
empathy
broader perspective
societal issues
college applications
job applications
positive impact

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.