IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that money is the best gift for teenagers. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #money #gift #teenagers
It is considered that greatest present one could ever give to youngsters is cash.
However
, some people argued
otherwise
.
This
 essay will tackle both arguments, but in my opinion, it will always depend on the recipients’ personality and needs. One reason why some people believe that giving
money
 as a gift would be best for teens is because these younger generations today often know what they like and what would give them happiness.
As a result
, they are more excited to receive
money
 so that they can be able to buy what they want or
use
 it for what would benefit them.
In addition
 to that, people think that they could buy some things for their gift, but
then
, it is possible that these teens would not like that.
That is
 why, it is better to give them
money
 and let them buy and
use
 it for something they prefer.
On the other hand
, some people argued that when teenagers received
money
, they might
use
 it for something that would lead them to trouble. In today’s generation, having
money
 to spend with will be favourable to the young people, to be able to meet the trends
such
 as social acceptance and peer pressure, which they try to embrace.
Consequently
, they could consider spending the
money
 for extensive partying, alcohol, drugs and the like, which undoubtedly have a negative influence on them.
Therefore
, it is considered that it would be better if people would give them things of value, other than cash, that could rather be useful. In my opinion, while for some teens, they would prefer to receive cash that they can
use
 for themselves, it is still best
first
 to consider the recipient's personality, whether it would be useful to give them
money
 or some other things as a gift.
Submitted by antigjayz on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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