IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

5. Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possible. While others think that it should not start until 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #education #children #years #age
Around the world, starting formal
education
 for the children and the appropriate
age for
Accept comma addition
age, for
 it is a widely debated topic. Opinions vary on whether to start formal
education
 for children at the earliest or delay it until the
age
 of 7 years.
This
 essay will
analyze
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analyse
 both arguments with relevant examples and an opinion would be formed at the end.
Firstly
, some people think that children are sharp and active learners. So, formal
education
 should be started as soon as possible. With
this
, despite the initial difficulty, they can grasp basic subjects and their concepts efficiently at a young
age
 that could prove pivotal
for
Suggestion
to
 their future success.
For instance
, in my country, there is a school in which children are introduced to formal
education
 at the
age
 of 4-5 years. Interestingly, the school records have shown excellent results with their students being top performers in board exams in comparison to other schools.
Therefore
, it can be said that starting formal
education
 as
earlier
Suggestion
early
 as possible could furnish impressive results.
On the other hand
, some people believe that proper academic courses should not be started for children until they are seven as it will hinder their other potential talents.
For example
, In America, students are not taught
formal course
Suggestion
a formal course
formal courses
 until they turn eight.
This
 is done in order to polish their all-round learning and potential talent. From the analysis of
American
Suggestion
the American education system
education
 system,
this
 seems to be quite a productive approach as they have produced numerous scientists, athletes sportsmen, entrepreneurs and other professionals.
Thus
, it can be said that formal
education
 after 7 has delivered excellent results. From the above discussion, it can be concluded that formal
education
 after seven years of
age
 is more beneficial as it has produced far better results in comparison to
education
 starting earlier than that. It is,
therefore
, hoped that in order to nourish and realize different talents of children in different fields, parents will commence their formal
education
 after
age
 seven.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Social interactions
  • Formative years
  • Curiosity
  • Structured environments
  • Preschool activities
  • Unstructured play
  • Developmental pace
  • Emotional and social skills
  • Undue stress and pressure
  • Natural development
  • Informal learning methods
What to do next:
Look at other essays: