Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what ways can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make?

With better medicine and advanced technology, elderly tend to have higher age nowadays. According to WHO reports, people have longer life and they died on average 75 years-old for men and 80 years-old for women. Improved nutrients make human have stronger bodies and,
hence
they live energetically. Their enthusiastic lives turn to
next page
Suggestion
the next page
.
This
essay will outline two ways in which
this
interest can benefit society.
Firstly
, old people act as babysitters to look after babies and
therefore
more manpower
is released
Suggestion
are released
to job market.
Grandfathers or
Accept comma addition
Grandfathers, or
grandmothers have much free time after retirement. Why not develop a strong bonding or
relationship
Suggestion
a relationship
relationships
with their grandsons and granddaughters?
Mother
Suggestion
The mother
can go to work.
This
method not only increases
work force but
Accept comma addition
workforce, but
workforce but
also
benefits
economy
Suggestion
economically
. More family income stimulates more consumptions and expansions, that means country GDP as well as unemployment are improved and social welfare pressure is released.
Secondly
, senior people contribute to the local community to show their compassion and helping spirits.
For example
, they work voluntarily in community
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
or visit
elderly’s homes
Suggestion
the elderly’s homes
. They can sing songs and play games with those
unhealthy sick
Accept comma addition
unhealthy, sick
old
Suggestion
older
patients who are living in elderly’s hostels. Lyrics and melodies melt their hearts. Warmth and compassion
is delivered
Suggestion
are delivered
to those old men and aging women. Regular visits
make
Suggestion
are made
them
fell
undergo an emotional sensation or be in a particular state of mind
feel
“you are still being loved”.
This
action is interactive that the person who helps others reflects their moral values and positive beliefs. In conclusion,
social system
Suggestion
the social system
is enhanced from
achievements
Suggestion
the achievements
of the elderly by sharing mothers’ responsibility who add to
workforce
Suggestion
the workforce
.
Furthermore
, working in public groups shows their sincerity and positive attitudes.
Submitted by c28695 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: