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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In today’s competitive world, higher education is essential for a successful career path.
While
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 some
students
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 in university are keen to learn additional
subjects
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 on top of their major
subjects
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, others believe that giving the most time and attention towards
one
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qualification
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 is more important. In my opinion, focusing on
one
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 area of study is a smart and efficient way to achieve success.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and restate my opinion. First and foremost, the proponents of the claim that some university
students
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 want to learn about other
subjects
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 beyond their core
subjects
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 argue that it helps
students
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 to broaden their knowledge and
overall
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 enhances their critical thinking skills.
This
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 will make them well-rounded individuals and prepare them for better opportunities.
Furthermore
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, graduates will be able to expand their horizons across multidisciplinary fields and have more career options.
For example
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, a student from a science major can have chances to work in corporate sectors if they have acquired knowledge and a professional certificate in management or accounting.
Thus
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, it is always an advantage to learn additional
subjects
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 to become more marketable in future.
On the contrary
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, some think that it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for
one
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 specific
qualification
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. The supporters of
this
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 viewpoint believe that having a specific goal to master a
qualification
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 is vital because it will increase their chances of being the best in the particular field.
Moreover
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, spending most of the time on a particular area of
subjects
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 will lead them to achieve results of flying colours.
This
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 will make them
one
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 of the top applicants for a specialised role
such
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 as a surgeon, laboratory chemist, or engineer.
Therefore
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, it is important to focus on the main
subjects
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 which
students
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 are interested in so that they will become more skill-oriented candidates. In conclusion,
while
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 both arguments are valid, I side with the view that focusing on the main
subjects
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 and
one
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qualification
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 will prepare them to be more goal-oriented and successful in their path, which will make them qualified for future careers that they desire.

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task achievement
Try to give more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next to improve coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure you clearly link back to your opinion in your conclusion.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion that is presented in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has good topic sentences that outline the main ideas of each paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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