IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people say modern innovations bring a lot of problems than benefits. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #innovations
There has always been a point of contention whether the drawbacks caused by the latest inventions eclipse the positives or not. If questioned, I strongly disagree with the statement, and believe that the cons of
this
 phenomenon certainly are not so strong to cover up the pros. My inclination is
further
 j
ustified
Suggestion
Justified
in the ensuing paragraphs. To commence with, the most significant motive behind any research is to develop new technology or product which is superior to i
t's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
former ones. By
this
, I mean that the advancements are the result of efforts to curb the negative consequences of previous version. Ergo, the new version, in a true sense, must be more beneficial.
This
 can be exemplified by the invention of mobile phones which was urgently required to be thought of due to the fact that communication between people had become very arduous.
Therefore
, even though cell phones might arise some demerits, its plus points are far richer.
Moreover
, it is the gap of understanding that some may consider the newly developed innovations as more detrimental.
This
 is because the real facts, figures and science of latest inventions take time to get it convinced by the major class of p
opulation.
Suggestion
the population
 M
eanwhile they
Accept comma addition
Meanwhile, they
conclude them not to be fruitful. To quote an instance, the erection of f
ly-overs
a plant cultivated for its blooms or blossoms
flowers
in the crowded city might be troublesome for many who do not understand the long-term rewards it can offer to the population. To conclude, the latest developments might have some demerits;
however
, I strongly disagree with the notion that these demerits outweigh all the positive effects offered. The compelling reason behind my way of thinking is that the new advancements mean more advantages, and solution of previous t
ribulations.
Suggestion
Tribulations
 The other logic to support my view is the gap of knowledge of r
eal merits
Suggestion
the real merits
of latest progressions.
Submitted by raghuvirsinh03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: