IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experiences and developing soft skill is more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's modern era, a university education is the best way to get a
job
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, others argue that having experience and developing soft
skills
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 important. In my notion, it is a positive development. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both perspectives before presenting my opinion. To commence with, a university education is the best way to get a
job
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, a candidate who completes their
graduate
Replace the word
graduation
show examples
 will get a higher salary
job
Use synonyms
 than students having higher secondary qualifications.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the graduate student will have more preference for multi-national companies than other qualifications.
As a result
Linking Words
, completing a university education is far more essential in these modern days. Many advertisements in the local newspapers mention that graduate or postgraduate students will have a good preference for the
job
Use synonyms
. Moving ahead, experiences and developing soft
skills
Use synonyms
 are important in the growth of the market. Soft
skills
Use synonyms
 like good communication, flexibility, teamwork, adaptability, and interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, these
skills
Use synonyms
 are important because help in the growth rate of any business by doing it
fastly
Rephrase
fast
show examples
 as compared to the fresher's world.
Additionally
Linking Words
, having experience in any field is
also
Linking Words
 necessary because it guides new employees to work in a productive manner.
Therefore
Linking Words
, improving these
skills
Use synonyms
 helps to develop the
overall
Linking Words
 development of an employee. In conclusion, a candidate having graduation as a qualification gets high package
job
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
, soft
skills
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 necessary to develop personal growth like interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
. Maintaining
balance
Add an article
a balance
the balance
show examples
 between these two qualifications will improve
employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
show examples
 good positions in the office.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make sure to clarify your stance in the introduction more explicitly. Use phrases like 'In my opinion' to directly state your viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Use more linking phrases to enhance the coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Ensure to include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your points and make them more convincing.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument effectively, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of vocabulary is appropriate and varied, enhancing the overall quality of your writing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: