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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

our friend is coming over to stay with you. However, you will be away on vacation for a month. Write him/her a letter and say: ▪️How to get the keys to your flat ▪️How to operate the equipment in the flat and ▪️Suggest a few places of interest to visit

#friend #vacation #month #▪️how #keys #equipment #▪️suggest #places #interest #visit
Hi Sarah How is everything? I'm glad to hear you're going to come over and stay with me. I'm afraid I'll spend my vacation in Paris for one month. But I can find a way to give you my keys. How about getting the keys from my neighbour Jack whose flat is next to mine? I have enough equipment in my apartment and you can easily use them. you just need to enable electricity contact and enjoy watching TV. By the way, the gas handle is under
kitchen
Add an article
the kitchen
show examples
 window, turn it to the open side.
Then
 you can cook and have warm water to take a shower.
While
 you are alone you can visit the National Museum which is on Hulston Road and is free on Saturdays.
Also
, an amusement park is on the next street which has different devices to enjoy. I'll buy some stuff you may need. Help yourself and don't hesitate. I'll be back soon. Look forward to seeing you and being flatmates. Ella
Submitted by keyhan454 on

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task achievement
To improve your letter even further, consider expanding your description of how to operate the equipment in the flat. Providing a bit more detail about specific devices could enhance clarity and be more helpful to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Although your letter is well-organized, you could enhance the coherence and cohesion by linking your ideas more smoothly. For example, using transitional words or phrases like ‘In addition to’ before mentioning the places of interest could make the progression of ideas even smoother.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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