Some people Believe that government money should be spend on important things rather than arts painting and music. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

The creative industry is one of the fastest growing industry across various countries and if adequately invested in, it could generate a huge Return of Investment (ROI) for the state.
However
, citizens in various developing countries might not (will not) be in support or
intrested
having or showing interest; especially curiosity or fascination or concern
interested
in the state investing huge amount of monies into arts, songs and painting rather than creating jobs, infrastructures and providing basic social amenities within the
society
. Providing basic social amenities
such
as good roads, healthcare centres, and electricities are more important to an average citizen within a
society
than the state spending
large amount
Suggestion
large amounts
a large amount
of money on arts and song. An average person living in a developing country, cannot afford good medical care and the mortality rate keeps increasing due to the lack of access to hospital facilities.
For instance
, a mother whose child is seriously ill and cannot afford to pay her medical fee or have access to free medical care will definitely not
subcribe
offer to buy, as of stocks and shares
subscribe
to the
government
frivously
at an earlier time or formerly
previously
investing
into
Suggestion
in
arts and music. For some people,
instead
of the
government
spending
frivlous
not serious in content or attitude or behavior
frivolous
amount
on
Suggestion
of
about
music
,
Accept space
,
such
monies should be vested
into
Suggestion
in
the education system by either providing free education
to
Suggestion
for
all or subsidizing tuition fees in school. The education system needs to be invested in and overhauled due to
current situation
Suggestion
the current situation
within the sector. A quote says "Education is for improving the lives of others and for leaving your community and world better than you found it." Others, are of the opinion that providing arts and paintings within the cities and communities only beautifies the
environment but
Accept comma addition
environment, but
a death trap to people plying the roads because the roads are not
motorable
and are riddled with potholes which are inaccessible and sometimes leads to terrible accidents. For some, they want the
government
to spend more money on job creation and security; thousands of youths are jobless and are living below the poverty line, which leads to high rate of crime within the
society
. To a large extent, spending monies around arts, music and paintings shouldn't be a priority for the
government
, considering various issues arising within the
society
at
this
crucial moment.
Firstly
, tackling issues that are important and could help increase the GDP of the country should be their utmost priority, after which the others might come

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: