In the last century when a human astronaut first arrived on the Moon he said: "It is a big step for mankind". But some people think it makes little difference to our daily life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Scientists
are always eager to know about other planets
, where they can study them in detail and make them beneficial to the Earth
. While
many people argue that in the 19th. Century travellers first time touched the surface of the moon
was a historic development of science and will change our life
towards new developments, others believe that it was a waste of money
, instead
that money
could have been used to build public amenities such
as hospitals, schools , roads, and libraries. I believe that the invention of the planets
and the search for minerals will change the population’s lives. This
stance will be proven by carefully analysing the topic and at the end
I will provide my views.
Firstly
, the main reason is that due to
the growing pressure of overpopulation on Earth
, scientists
are looking for other opportunities to send humans to other planets
and they were sure to find life
on the moon
. Another factor is that astronauts go on the moon
to search for important minerals, and those artefacts may help the Earth
. For example
, in 19th. Century scientists
went to the moon
and brought vital minerals to utilise on the earth
.
Secondly
, the primary reason is that astronauts did study on the moon
about incoming future disasters and how scientists
can stop those dangers. Another factor is that similar to the moon
many other planets
are present in our universe , those are untraceable from the Earth
, so engineers found some evidence of life
on the other planets
. For instance
, many countries sent their researchers to collect information, so they can find life
on other planets
.
In contrast
, it cannot be denied that sending scientists
to the moon
waste of money
and that money
can be invested in society to provide roads, hospitals, universities, and other amenities, so people can use those facilities. But in my view the advantages outweigh on disadvantages and the Governments must keep this
program in progress to save them from future dangers.
In conclusion, following the analysis, it is clear that
everybody understands that spending money
on astronauts was a waste of cash but it gives us many clues about the moon
's surface. Now everybody knows there may be future chances to live on the moon
.Submitted by rbtech65 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
You have provided a good overview of both sides of the argument and introduced your stance clearly at the beginning. However, there are instances of repetition, such as mentioning the 19th-century moon landing twice. Ensuring a more varied vocabulary can make your essay smoother.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the transitions between some points could be smoother to improve the logical progression of your ideas. Using more cohesive devices (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'Moreover') can help with this.
task response
You've mentioned valid points and supported them with examples, but some ideas lack depth. For instance, while you discussed the discovery of minerals, it would be beneficial to delve deeper into how these minerals have specifically benefited life on Earth.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally easy to follow, but there are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings (e.g., 'astronauts did study on the moon about incoming future disasters'). Reviewing your work for clarity and grammatical accuracy before submission can help.
task response
Your introduction is effective, as it clearly outlines the topic and your stance. This sets a good foundation for the rest of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and reinforces your stance, providing a clear ending to your essay.
task response
You have successfully provided examples to support your points, which is crucial for demonstrating your understanding and backing up your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.