IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that technology has made men more sociable,and others think that it has made us less sociable. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #technology #men
It is true that
technology
 has made
great impact
Suggestion
a great impact
 on our lives.People have different views about whether males become more outgoing because of the influence of
technology
.Whereas in some ways it
seem
Suggestion
seems
 reasonable that men are affected to become less sociable by
technology
.I personally believe that males have become less sociable compared to
past
Suggestion
the past
. There are various reasons why it might be considered males became more outgoing.By using mobile phones as well as internet males keep in touch with their friends and relatives.
For instance
,
Accept space
,
if they are surfing on the internet and find their friends online, they will make a video call or will chat by e-mail.
Furthermore
,
Accept space
,
men are able to make new friends through utilizing technologies.A great example of
this
 would be joining
to
being one more than one
two
 groups on Facebook.By joining groups they chat with other members of
group
Suggestion
the group
a group
 and
thus
 they are likely to make new friends.
However
, I agree with those who argue that males are affected to become less communicative.Technologies distract them from
people
Suggestion
the people
 those around.A salient example of
this
 is people at the dining table who utilizing their phones
instead
 of talking with each other.
Moreover
,
this
 is observed in families where fathers are busy with their phones.
Consequently
,
Accept space
,
they
donot
Suggestion
do not
 pay attention to their their wife as well as children.
In addition
,
Accept space
,
the availability of new
technology
 have the result of isolating people and real interaction.
For instance
, nowadays many teenagers choose to make friends online rather than mixing with them in
real world
Suggestion
the real world
.
Accept space
.
 To sum up
,
Accept space
,
men became less communicative because of the influence of
technology
.They should use their phones or the internet and pay attention to their relatives.

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