Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #rise #obesity #children #fault #parents

The charts illustrate the percentage of people's cooking and eating out and the trend of consuming Fast-Food and Sit-down Restaurant Meals each d

ecades

Suggestion

decade

between 1970 to 2000. Overall, the part of eating out gradually had became larger every 10 years. At the same time, the number of both of l

ines:

Suggestion

the lines

Fast-Food and Sit-down Restaurant Meals had u

nchangeably

not changeable or subject to change

unchangeable

increased,

however

, the junk food's number had steeply s

hoot

Suggestion

shot

up. So, from the both of charts, its part h

ad became

Suggestion

became

popular in our lives. The percentage of the external meals had recorded 10, 15, 35 and 50% in 1970, 1980, 1990 and 2000 respectively. From

this

changing, the popularity of it had gradually r

ose.

Suggestion

risen

Indeed, the other figure had been the part of Home Cooking. The number of people who had consumed in Sit-down restaurant had gently gone up,

however

, the population of consumers in RTE (Ready To Eat) shop had steeply s

hoot

Suggestion

shot

up and its line had been higher than other line since 1983.

Wed Feb 12 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

162 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children, while others think it is the fault of the parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

some people like to spend their liesure time after work with their coworkers while others like to keep their private life separate from work. Discuss both sides.

Topic: Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Q: Some people say that at all levels of education, from primary school to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement.