IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You were hurt in a minor accident inside a supermarket and you wish to complain to the supermarket authority about that. Write a letter to the manager of the supermarket. In your letter say who are you give details about the accident suggest how the supermarket could prevent similar accidents

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Dear Sir, My name is John, and I am a regular customer of your store. Just recently I have met an accident in your store at the canned food section. It happened when
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction when. Consider removing the comma.

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 I was looking for a canned jar of pineapples in the section. I wanted to check the different sizes and expiry
date
Fix the agreement mistake
dates

It seems that date may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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 on the pineapple
cannes
Change the capitalization
Cannes

It appears that the word cannes may be a proper noun in this context. Consider capitalizing the word.

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 placed on the racks. While
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction While. Consider removing the comma.

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 reaching out for one of the cans placed on the
third
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 row, I felt a sharp object on the hand. Upon analyzing it was found that one of
the cans lid
Change to a genitive case
the lid of the can
the lid of the cans

It appears that the word cans should use the genitive case. Consider changing the noun.

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 was not properly sealed and the sharp edge was popping out.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 might have
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred

The word occured is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

during transportation or placement and resulted in a minor cut on my thumb. I
,
Remove the comma
apply

The comma may be separating the subject and verb in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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 am writing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 so as to get your attention on prevention of
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 accidents in the future. As a precaution,
Correct your spelling
maybe

The word may be seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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may be
Correct your spelling
maybe

The word may be seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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 you can devise a checklist for the safety
os
Correct your spelling
of

The word os doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 all canned items and or similar products. I hope these measures will prove effective and hope to hear from you soon Yours Sincerely John

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • incident
  • precautionary measures
  • inconvenience
  • enhanced supervision
  • safety protocols
  • liability
  • compensation
  • constructive response
  • prompt action
  • vigilant
  • maintenance
  • resolution
  • testimonial
  • surveillance
  • safeguard
  • negligence
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