fast food has become cheaper in recent years. do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages

Junk food is available at low cost in recent years.
Although
this
change saves money, its disadvantages of increased health illness and decreased family bondings are more significant. Primarily, cheap fast food may decrease the expenses of eatables. It is because people can buy readymade meals from outside, they do not need to spend more money on buying different items
such
as gas, oil, spices, flour and vegetables for cooking. In
this
way, they not only lower their expenses but
also
can utilise these savings for other purposes. The price of a complete meal at a restaurant,
for instance
, is almost half of the amount in comparison to cooking the same meal at home,
revealed
Correct word choice
as revealed
show examples
by an article in the newspaper
last
year.
However
, the first and foremost drawback of
this
availability is deteriorating holistic health. As the cuisines available in markets contain low-quality ingredients, they affect all systems present in the human body which can be seen through various signs and symptoms.
For example
, had Americans not used to eating burgers outside, they would not have become more prone to cardiac diseases.
Hence
, people will encounter a low-quality life for sure in the long run.
Besides
damaging physical wellness,
this
change fails to maintain harmonious relationships between family members. Since people enjoy their major meals outside, they neither sit together at their eating tables nor discuss their lives with each other, thereby, leading to
widen
Change the verb form
widening
show examples
the gap between members of a family. In conclusion,
due to
the presence of cheap junk food these days, I believe its disadvantages include affecting
overall
health
as well as
reducing the bonds within the family surpassing its single benefit of cutting down the costs.
Submitted by immysandhu94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You have answered the question well and provided a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages. However, try to further develop the points about decreased family bonding. A more detailed example or explanation could make this argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To improve, work on making the connections between some of your ideas smoother. Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link your ideas more naturally.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your essay by presenting the main argument clearly.
relevant specific examples
You have used relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is clear, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea and supporting details.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • affordability
  • accessible
  • low-income families
  • convenience
  • busy lifestyles
  • demanding jobs
  • variety of options
  • cater to different tastes
  • poor nutrition
  • health problems
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • high availability
  • low cost
  • overconsumption
  • unhealthy eating habits
  • environmental impact
  • packaging waste
  • carbon footprint
What to do next:
Look at other essays: