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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below describes the number of employees and factories in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901.

The table below describes the number of employees and factories in England and Wales from 1851 to 1901.
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The table illustrates the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of workers both male and female employed in factories in England and Wales between the
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 1851 and 1901.
Overall
Linking Words
, the amount of total
employees
Use synonyms
 (male and female) has consistently depleted from 477,100 to 61,000 from the
year
Use synonyms
 1851 to 1901 respectively. The figures for the male workers
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 slightly higher in comparison with their female colleagues. 1891 showed a close marking between both
sex
Change to a plural noun
sexes
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 with exactly 65,000 male
employees
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 and 40,000 female workers in that
year
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. It can
also
Linking Words
 be seen that the number of factories continues to increase from 225 to 600 in the same time period,
this
Linking Words
 trend seems a little disproportionate to the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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total
employees
Use synonyms
 when compared together. The number of total
employees
Use synonyms
 went down from 477,100 to 61,000. The
year
Use synonyms
 1871, had the highest jump in
number
Correct article usage
the number
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for
Change preposition
of
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 factories with about
200
Correct article usage
a 200
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 increase from the previous
year
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, employees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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