IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and academic world. Others believe that some information is too important to be shared freely. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #information #research #business #world
Information
 is an important and a valuable resource when conducting scientific research in business or academic contexts. In my opinion
information
 needs to be freely available to any person who wish to
carryout
Suggestion
carry out
 research even though, there are considerable reasons to refrain in sharing valuable
information
. With respect to sharing
information
, several arguments can be brought forward.
Firstly
,
availability
Suggestion
the availability
 of
information
 prevents the problem of recreating the wheel, which is achieving the same knowledge which has known previously.
Secondly
, everyone gets the opportunity to access
information irrespective
Accept comma addition
information, irrespective
 of their background so that everyone can contribute to knowledge.
For example
, people in poor countries, who do not have financial strength will have
opportunity
Suggestion
an opportunity
the opportunity
 to access
these
Suggestion
this information
information
 and contribute.
Finally
, there will be rapid advances in the knowledge since more people can contribute.
However
, there are points which can be considered for not sharing
information
 freely.
Firstly
, there may be
information
 which can be too important and too sensitive so that they cannot be disclosed publicly.
For example
, private details of people
such
 as bank details, personal lives may not be appropriate to be shared.
Also
, there may be high commercial value in some
information
 and sharing them would prevent in generating revenue from them.
For example
, if
information
 on a certain groundbreaking technology is shared freely, there won’t be any market value for it as it is shared freely. In conclusion, I believe that it is better to
share much
Suggestion
share as much information
information
 as possible to the advancement of scientific research in business and academic world.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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