IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You learnt about new software and planning to buy it. Write to company seeking more information about the software you want to buy. In your letter- * Inform the seller about the exact product that you want to buy *Introduce yourself *Say what expectations you have from the product

#learnt #software #company #information #letter- #seller #product #*introduce #*say #expectations
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Dear Sir or Madam, I have come to know through your company website that you are launching a new antivirus
software
 and soon a free 7 days trial version will be available to instal. I want to get more information about your product
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 its reliability and productivity. Because I am a
software
 engineer and employee of a
software
 company. You better know how important it is for me to update my PC. Please explain how it works and what price should I have to spend to purchase its premium version. One more thing I want to describe is that in recent days a lot of antivirus
software
 has been available on the market. But it is very unfortunate that most of them are not secure. So please share some authentic and proper information which satisfied me that the product I am purchasing is genuine. I hope you never let me down and reply to my queries very soon. I will wait for your kind response. Yours Faithfully, Kunwar
Submitted by computersinn2007 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear, single focus. While your logical structure is sound, delve deeper into specific functionalities you're curious about to strengthen the coherence.
Task Achievement
You've addressed all the tasks efficiently. To improve, consider specifying why you're particularly interested in this software and how it aligns with your professional needs. This will enhance your task response.
Tone
Maintain a professional and polite tone throughout your letter. Consider using phrases such as 'I would greatly appreciate it if you could provide...' to make requests more courteous.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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