IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. to what extent do you agree ?

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Outlaws in
prisone
a correctional institution used to detain persons who are in the lawful custody of the government (either accused persons awaiting trial or convicted persons serving a sentence)
prison
prisons
person
 have been the
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
 of many debates that aims to enhance the
cities
Suggestion
city's
city
 safety. Dealing with the best punishment for them divided many people. It's agreed that making them do
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 for free is the best solution, because making them do good deed will make them more considerate and doing so will be useful for the
community
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, mating a person who broke the law do charity
work
Use synonyms
for
Suggestion
in
 the
community
Use synonyms
 will push them
to
Suggestion
into
 being more empathetic.
For instance
Linking Words
, the university of Toronto published study
tndte
a portable shelter (usually of canvas stretched over supporting poles and fastened to the ground with ropes and pegs)
tent
 which stated that did something good for others without any exchange were much less likely to do something bad of illegal in the future. When helping
someone it's always
Suggestion
someone, it's always
 changing something deep in ourselves that push
u
The objective case of we, the persons speaking
us
you
up
 to be better people.
Secondly
Linking Words
, for prisoners
to do
Suggestion
do
 free
work
Use synonyms
 will always help the city and people by mitigating the cost of some projects
on
Suggestion
of
 the government
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
For
example in
Accept comma addition
example, in
 the 11th century china used their own captured Criminals to build the great wall of china.
This
Linking Words
 action helped the
chinese
a native or inhabitant of Communist China or of Nationalist China
Chinese
 people survive many attacks that could many people.
Linking Words
Thus
Accept comma addition
Thus, this
this
Linking Words
 decision was very helpful for
ching
Suggestion
Ching
showing
chin
 and
its
Suggestion
Its
 people than take the lives of just
heeping
a collection of objects laid on top of each other
heaping
helping
hoping
 the prisoners in their cells. To summarize, for many reasons like changing the prisoners personalities for the better while
also
Linking Words
 helping the communities its fat better to go with making them do the
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of just keeping them in isolations.
Itos
Suggestion
It's
Its
 predicted that many countries in the future will
also
Linking Words
 adopt
this
Linking Words
 approach.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: