Childhood obesity is becoming a problem throughout the developed world. Because of this, some people think that adverts for fast food, sweets and sugary snacks should not be allowed in schools and colleges. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

In today’s world, we
are still facing
Suggestion
are still faced
with a wide range of problems. Among these, childhood
obesity
is one of the most crucial issues and needs to be tackled.
Therefore
, schools suggested banning any adverts for junk
food
and other sweet snacks.
However
, my view is that
this
is not the best way as children can decide on their own and need a balanced nutrition. Admittedly, on the one hand, if schools show advertisings which attract a lot of young people to buy sugary
food
, it could lead to problems as they keep consuming it.
This
reflects badly to their body, ending up being overweight. In
this
case, the only way to prevent
obesity
is probably to shut down all adverts displaying unhealthy
food
and only provide healthy
food
.
As a result
, children have no other choice than buying snacks with a huge amount of vitamins and proteins.
On the other hand
, schools and colleges with flyers presenting unhealthy
food
does not mean it will eventually increase
obesity
. Even if some might get attracted by those, young people are allowed to decide what kind of
food
they want to eat as
this
is an individual decision.
Moreover
, consuming some sugary
food
is a necessary nutrition for each person as each body needs a balanced eating habit.
For example
, if someone consumed too many unhealthy burgers, they still can do some workouts in order not to get a disease
such
as
obesity
. To conclude,
although
changing posters to healthy
food
might eliminate some attractions to junk
food
, I still believe that schools should allow showing them as it is an individual choice and will not lead to
obesity
for each child.
Submitted by lisa.zhan95 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • vulnerability
  • unethical
  • well-being
  • commercial gain
  • cafeteria options
  • nutritional programs
  • fast food advertisements
  • health impacts
  • influence
  • educational environment
  • promote healthier eating habits
What to do next:
Look at other essays: