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Band 7.5

Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has caused more problems than it has solved. What are your opinions on this?

#opportunities #women #people #situation
In previous centuries, there were not many opportunities for women since people of those ages had different ideals.
However
, it has changed for the better, which, in my perspective, resolved many issues creating brand new society.
First
 and foremost, changes in social structure were possible thanks for the rising number of chances for females. Before present days, women had an unaltered position in the family; they were neglected, illiterate, and inferior to men. Nowadays, women can receive education at the same level with men,
thus
 can have a particular position in the family.
Moreover
, they start to occupy lots of important positions in the fields of science, education, and politics. Henceforth, society becomes more equal and fair. Albeit, there are still some problems,
such
 as absence of a person to take care of the home, but it can be easily resolved.
In addition
, women now can dedicate themselves to studying and researching,
therefore
, prove that they are not weak and unworthy. In previous decades, females could only go to school and rarely to college, they were married off and had to take care of their household.
In contrast
, today there are many female scientists and researchers making valuable inventions and breakthroughs.
Accordingly
, more jobs may be taken by them, so they
also
 become a source of money and stability of their families, despite any possible mistakes at work. Concluding that, the variety of opportunities for women modify our society to
more equal
Suggestion
more equality
, advanced, and harmonious one. Whereas there are still a number of problems caused by that, females can live a free life and choose their own path.
Submitted by eli.innbray on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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