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Writing Samples
Band 5

The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children's health.To what extent do you agree or disagree with these views?

#children #countries #people #food #outlets #parents #health
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Today, developed countries are suffering due to the high proportion of obese young citizens. Some argue that the development of convenient restaurants and the improper choice of parents is one of the reasons affecting children's health. On the one hand, it is undeniable that the significant growths of fast
food
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 outlets have truly affected the case of overweight problem in children.In most amusement parks or shopping
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
, fast
food
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 restaurants are on hand and they offer a variety of fast
food
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 to attract children.
For example
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, Lotteria and KFC routinely give extra rewards as toys for kids' meal packages. As more and more children are drawn to visit fast
food
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 restaurants, the existence of fast
food
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 is an integral part of everyday life.
As a result
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 of the growing trend, children have more choices about the stores they can choose from, and the probability of them consuming
this
Linking Words
 fast
food
Use synonyms
 is increasing.
However
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, parents are responsible for their children's diet and must take care of them to avoid them being overweight or even obese. Parents must find and prepare a menu of healthy foods for children,
for example
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, vegetables or meat.
Moreover
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, parents must restrict the
child's
Suggestion
children's
 sweets and convert them into fruit. In conclusion, both fast foods and lack of parental control are
causes
Suggestion
the causes
 of the increasing number of overweight children.
Therefore
Linking Words
, changing fast
food
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 outlets menus may prevent the risk of obesity.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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