The number of overweight children in developed countries is increasing. Some people think this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Others believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children's health.To what extent do you agree or disagree with these views?

#children #countries #people #food #outlets #parents #health

Today, developed countries are suffering due to the high proportion of obese young citizens. Some argue that the development of convenient restaurants and the improper choice of parents is one of the reasons affecting children's health. On the one hand, it is undeniable that the significant growths of fast

food

outlets have truly affected the case of overweight problem in children.In most amusement parks or shopping

centers

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centres

, fast

food

restaurants are on hand and they offer a variety of fast

food

to attract children.

For example

, Lotteria and KFC routinely give extra rewards as toys for kids' meal packages. As more and more children are drawn to visit fast

food

restaurants, the existence of fast

food

is an integral part of everyday life.

As a result

of the growing trend, children have more choices about the stores they can choose from, and the probability of them consuming

this

fast

food

is increasing.

However

, parents are responsible for their children's diet and must take care of them to avoid them being overweight or even obese. Parents must find and prepare a menu of healthy foods for children,

for example

, vegetables or meat.

Moreover

, parents must restrict the

child's

Suggestion

children's

sweets and convert them into fruit. In conclusion, both fast foods and lack of parental control are

causes

Suggestion

the causes

of the increasing number of overweight children.

Therefore

, changing fast

food

outlets menus may prevent the risk of obesity.

Thu Feb 13 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

234 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many people today are worried about cybercrime chess hacking and identity theft. What problems does cybercrime cause, and what solutions can you suggest for ordinary people and business to take?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

ome children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case? Do you think is a positive or negative develompent?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?