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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Due to the development and rapid expansion of the supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#development #expansion #supermarkets #countries #business #people #closure #death #communities
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It is a common believe that with the opening of supermarkets in society, local business will die out eventually. According to my opinion, I partly agree with the statement as super stores are always full
off
connects a noun with the preceding word
of
 new offers and
latest
Suggestion
the latest
 trends
to influence
Suggestion
influencing
 their buyers. Whereas local markets hold a personal and close relation with their
purchasers
the acquisition of something for payment
purchases
, which help
in
Suggestion
to
 thrive their businesses. According to some, one can easily step
in to
expresses motion to a point on, or within, something
into
 the latest fashion movements at affordable prices. Mega stores are linked
with
Suggestion
to
 pan
country
Use synonyms
 level and they have easy contacts with the product warehouses, who
are sitting
Suggestion
is sitting
 at another edge of the
country
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, one can buy
kanchivaram
Suggestion
sareess
similar things placed in order or happening one after another
series
shares
sarees
 (which are made in
kanchi
Suggestion
Kanchi
cancer
council
 a
south
Suggestion
southern
 region of India) in outlet stores effortlessly while sitting in
north region
Suggestion
the northern region
northern region
 of the
country
Use synonyms
 at minimal price.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is evident that finding new commodities are easier in supermarkets.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, local community stores offer
close relation
Suggestion
a close relation
 to their customers. They prefer convenience to their customers by providing doorstep and bargain facilities which is not possible in the case of
supermarket
Suggestion
the supermarket
.
Also
Linking Words
, having
personal touch
Suggestion
a personal touch
the personal touch
 with customers gives double authenticity and exchange of the products. In
country
Use synonyms
 like India, most of the business run on goodwill of the storekeeper. As consumers have a blindfolded trust on their sellers.
This
Linking Words
example speaks
Accept comma addition
example, speaks
 the volume of long survival of local stores. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 supermarkets provide things to influence their sales like affordable prices and variety of
latest trends
Suggestion
the latest trends
. But there are
somethings
Suggestion
some things
 which can be done by having close touch with the consumers for the survival of the business.
Submitted by harman.sodhi390 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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