Some people believe that music should be taught in school, while others think that it is best to focus on science and computer. Do you agree or Disagree?

#people #music #school #focus #science #computer

This

days education at

school

covers a wide aspect of different

subject

, you can learn about art music, but at the same time you are getting skills from IT, or gathering the knowledge about science. Some people believe that knowledge from one

subject

is more important than others, and I would like to look closer into that question. Everyone is different, and has different abilities, some of us are good at sports, and don't mind sweating every day at the gym, but others really enjoy drama lessons. It clearly shows, that people have different talents, and during their education at

school

they can discover these talents in a safe environment. It is very hard to decide which

subject

is more important. If we limited the education and opportunities only into certain subjects, we would risk that kids with other talents want to be able to discover them. Music is not everyone thing, but I'm convinced that having music as a

subject

school

helps many children discover, that singing or playing on an instrument is exactly what they want to do in life. Technology becomes an important part of our lives

this

day, learning computer skills at

school

is essential, you even can't really do your homework if you don't have basic computer skills, not mentioning communication at the workplace in the future. IT skills are needed in every part of our life. Some of the kids are really good at science, enjoy learning biology, chemistry or physics and it is important for everyone to have basic knowledge of

this

subject

, but I am not convinced, that giving up on teaching music at

school

will be beneficial for children at

school

age.

Submitted by annabi215 on Thu Feb 13 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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1Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that music should be taught in school, while others think that it is best to focus on science and computer. Do you agree or Disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

with a growing population, many people believe that we should focus on production more GM foods. what are the advantages and disadvantages of doing this? GM: Genetically Modified

Many governments think that economic progres is their most important foal. some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem that may result.

Some people believe that anyone can create art, such as painting, poetry, music, etc. Others think that a person should have special abilities to create art. Discuss both views and give your opinion.