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Band 4

Modern lifestyles mean that many parents have little time for their children. Many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past. Do you agree or disagree?

#lifestyles #parents #time #children #attention
Now a days people are so sincere with yourself work and they could not have sufficient
time
 for their children,
however
, many children's are suffering because their parents not to pay full attention towards your own kids
.
Accept space
.
 I strongly agree
for
Suggestion
to
this
 point.
today
Suggestion
Today
 we will discuss both the views and we will find final conclusion.
firstly I
Accept comma addition
Firstly, I
Firstly I
 believe that parents give
time
 for their
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
children's
 if they do not give
time
 to
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
 than they have
suffer
Suggestion
suffered
 some problems as well as they are thinking that my parents don't love me
.
Accept space
.
for
Suggestion
For
example most
Accept comma addition
example, most
 of the
families both
Accept comma addition
families, both
 parents are working longer hours and their children have spent most of the
time
on
Suggestion
at
in
 school and
further
 activity.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
 parents would be planning that once his or her children came to home at that
time
 mother or father is available at home and give some
time
 to his children
next
,
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,
 most of the
time
 children spent
time
 in a school and teacher observed that Children was failure in
a
Suggestion
an
 education and teacher research that most of the children have
common problem
Suggestion
a common problem
common problems
,
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,
 his parents did not give
time
 to his children for
busy schedule
Suggestion
the busy schedule
a busy schedule
busy schedules
.
Accept space
.
 I should
advice
give advice to
advise
 that parents can change his shift and
atleast
Suggestion
at least
 one parent is with him and give sufficient
time
.
Accept space
.
such
Suggestion
Such
 as
,
Accept space
,
 in
past most
Suggestion
the past, most
the past most
 of the families only one person went to work and another one spent
time
 with his or her child
.
Accept space
.
in
Suggestion
In
 conclusion
,
Accept space
,
 parents did not give more
time
 to his children so they have a
mentally
Suggestion
mental
 effect on his mind and they have
suffering
Suggestion
suffered
 a
lots
Suggestion
lot
 of problems so parents do something and spent
time
 with his child.
Submitted by hussaintayyab155 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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