IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
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Affording
an
Suggestion
a
 fully equipped
treatment
Use synonyms
 costs one arm and a leg in
modern era
Suggestion
the modern era
,
this
Linking Words
 trend has begun early in
20th century
Suggestion
the 20th century
 where
treatment
Use synonyms
 costs had taken a dramatic incline since
then
Linking Words
. All nations should provide a free of
cost
Accept comma addition
cost, health
health
Use synonyms
 service which is essential for
country’s growth
Suggestion
the country’s growth
 and development. Expensive treatments are to be brought for availability at least for minimum cost. So that
every one
all people
everyone
 can afford alongside with free
treatment
Use synonyms
 supports. I completely agree that latest medical treatments are unavailable for below middle class public.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
although
Linking Words
 some states provide free
treatment
Use synonyms
 and
health
Use synonyms
 care it just lacks quality. People recurrently suffer from similar diseases for prolonged periods. Free
health
Use synonyms
 service is still a dream for many urban areas and remote areas which are not in government’s considerations. How can someone would expect expensive treatments and diagnostics for getting checked
of
from a particular thing or place or position
off
 what they’re suffering
of
Suggestion
from
. Many
health
Use synonyms
 camps are organized for some days and removed
after wards which
Accept comma addition
afterwards, which
afterwards which
 just don’t meet people’s need. Yes, advanced and cutting edge technology now helping in curing many diseases
such
Linking Words
 as carcinoma’s and spinal cord disorder by equipments
such
Linking Words
 as rapid arc laser and full endoscopic spine surgery equipment respectively. These are treatments which cost an arm and leg for average patients to get
treatment
Use synonyms
 under these varieties,
nonetheless
Linking Words
, they get conventional
treatment
Use synonyms
 which needs longer hospitalisation.
Although
Linking Words
 free services are made available, it is the government responsibility to contract with private hospitals for making advanced
treatment
Use synonyms
’s available for minimal costs, so that every patient and individual would get a quality
treatment
Use synonyms
. Every year survey has to be conducted to rule out which areas require the support for diseases which are dangerous and
untreatable
not tractable; difficult to manage or mold
intractable
 and organise
private hospital camp
Suggestion
a private hospital camp
 with all facilities made available for them for
limited period
Suggestion
a limited period
,
this
Linking Words
 way, both hospital and people would benefit by getting publicity for
hospital
Suggestion
the hospital
 and quality care for patients around the areas. To conclude, I completely acknowledge that free
health
Use synonyms
 service is just a name which needs much attention by every nation and streamlined by societies so that it becomes true and having a healthy
nations
Suggestion
nation
 makes it a wealthy nation in every aspect of the development, it is citizens who are
future
Suggestion
the future
 of the country’s growth. If they
are cared
Suggestion
care
 for their
health
Use synonyms
 they will grow a better world.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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