Million of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

These days, technology has been developing immediately, so we have access to a lot of things;
however
,
this
evaluation needs a great deal of
money
for research;
in contrast
, a group of
people
believe that it is important that spending
money
that governments invest for
space
investigation on the factors that help societies to have better lives in the
Earth
. I do not subscribe to
this
idea owing to the fact that knowing about
space
can show us other planets like
Earth
;
additionally
, helping us to have good lives on
Earth
with fewer issues. On the one hand, when we can find other planets like
Earth
in our galaxy or the other ones, we might be fond tha other populations like humans;
additionally
, we can live on the other planets when the sun
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
destroyed; in fact, our discoveries will be the heritage for the communities that will live in the future;
hence
, it is crucial that authorities spend a lot of time and
money
on the
space
projects.
On the other hand
, if funding
space
research, we will have safer lives inasmuch as we know about the bad evidence like being thrown the big stone from
space
that died out the dinasores;
furthermore
, the items that
people
have been building and sending to
space
help us to find our roads, connect to other
people
when we go to the nature, and so on.
To sum up
, funds in
space
investigations need a number of
money
that can alter
people
's lifestyles;
nevertheless
, helps us to enhance our knowledge and live with fewer risks.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Try to fully develop each point with specific examples and explanations to improve clarity and depth of argumentation.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, maintaining the flow of the argument throughout the essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure present, dividing the essay into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay addresses both aspects of the question prompt, providing arguments for the importance of space research.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • space exploration
  • technological advancements
  • scientific discoveries
  • astronomy
  • satellites
  • international collaboration
  • economic benefits
  • living standards
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • healthcare
  • poverty reduction
  • distribute funds
  • resource allocation
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