24. In some countries, young people are encouraged to work and travel for a year finishing high school and starting university study. Discuss advantage and disadvantage for your people who decide to do it.

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #study #advantage

Selecting a

right

career pathway is crucial for the

youth

's future life when they graduate from high

school

Accept space

erefore, some youngsters prefer to travel around the world or working in workforce to gain exp

eriences be

Suggestion

experience

fore entering universities; while, others enrol themselves in universities or col

leges

Suggestion

colleges, right

right

after the graduations. These two pathways will both have ind

ividual advantages for the

Suggestion

the advantages of individual

individual advantages of the

youth

Accept space

re es

Suggestion

Their

say will discuss these two options separately.

To begin

with,

firstly

, Spending time travelling or working will provide opportunities for high

school

graduates to

understand th

Suggestion

understand

emselves better. The majority of them may have limited knowledge about working industries or lack of self-awareness;

therefore

, it may be a challenge for them to select a proper major that they are interested.

For example

, one-year travelling and working experiences will provide an opp

ortunities fo

Suggestion

opportunity

r them to expand their horizontal knowledge and learn about themselves.

Moreover

, they

also

earn some money for their tuition as well.

Therefore

, after the experience, the

youth

may mature enough to make a i

Suggestion

portant decision to pursue their careers in their lives.

On the other hand

, some new graduates will attend universities

right

after high

school

because they feel ready for advanced academic

study

Accept space

ey believe that travelling and working will waste their precious time. Travelling will increase the risks for the

youth

to nurture negative habits,

such

as smoking or drinking.

Moreover

, working in labour jobs will not benefit their personal developments and sometimes, some of them may never go back to colleges again. Directly pursuing university education will assist students to stay concentration for

Suggestion

eir academic

study

For instance

, many successful doctors enrolled themselves in universities to

study

health sciences

right

after high

school

and

then

study

med

icines. L

Suggestion

medicine

ater on they become outstanding doctors. In conclusion, whether having a short period for travelling or working or not depends on a high

school

graduate individually. I personally believe that they should make a serious decision after discussing with their parents or mentors because each high

school

graduate is unique with dif

ferent family background an

Suggestion

different family backgrounds

a different family background

d culture. Tra

veling ar

Suggestion

Travelling

ound and working may not be suitable for all students due to the above reasons.

However

, pursuing advanced academic educations in universities play a significant role for

Suggestion

udents' future life.

Submitted by busybee1693 on Sat Feb 15 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

371 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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24. In some countries, young people are encouraged to work and travel for a year finishing high school and starting university study. Discuss advantage and disadvantage for your people who decide to do it.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Employers should give their workers at least one month holiday a year as it makes them to do better at their job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think scientific research should focus on solving world health problems. Others think that there are more important issues. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. other people think that in today's modern world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. discuss both views and giver your opinion.