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Writing Samples
Band 5

People eat more processed food than they did in the past. Why is this? What are effects of this?

#people #food #effects
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People
Now a days
Suggestion
Nowadays
 tend to prefer fast
food
Use synonyms
 more when compared to the past.
This
Linking Words
 is because in a
family both
Accept comma addition
family, both
 husband and wife are doing jobs and they find fast foods easier to have and these processed foods
leads
Suggestion
lead
 to many
health
Use synonyms
 issues like obesity and diabetes. In Present trend, when we consider a
family both
Accept comma addition
family, both
 husband and wife are going for a job and they
find shortage of
Suggestion
find a shortage of
 time to prepare
food
Use synonyms
 at home in their daily routine.
Linking Words
Moreover from
Accept comma addition
Moreover, from
past decade there
Suggestion
past decade, there
a past decade there
a past decade a past decade there
 is tremendous increase in the Fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants which offers ready made foods and they
also
Linking Words
 provide easy access to order the required
food
Use synonyms
 through online
food
Use synonyms
 applications like
swiggy
move in a curve or arc, usually with the intent of hitting
swing
soggy
,
Accept space
,
Zomato.
Linking Words
Hence
Accept comma addition
Hence, besides
besides
Linking Words
 with advancement of technology, people
has become
Suggestion
have become
 lethargic by ordering their favourite dishes online.Even the children are habituated to these processed foods as these items
adds
Suggestion
add
 more flavour and taste to everyone's taste buds.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are many working women who opt to have these easily available foods than home made foods. The major effect of these fast
food
Use synonyms
 is
obesity which
Accept comma addition
obesity, which
 has become prevalent specifically among Americans and
rest
Suggestion
the rest
 of the
countries
Suggestion
country
 as well. Many of these multiple chain of restaurants like Dominos
,
Accept space
,
Mc Donalds
have
Suggestion
has
 their presence
globally which
Accept comma addition
globally, which
 makes people avail the services provided by them. As most of these foods are deeply fried items in oil and kept in storage boxes under cool
temperatues
the degree of hotness or coldness of a body or environment (corresponding to its molecular activity)
temperatures
temperature
 for many days which is not good for
health
Use synonyms
. Any packed and more processed
food
Use synonyms
 item stored for many years is not healthier to consume.
For instance
Linking Words
, people who follow
healthier diet
Suggestion
a healthier diet
healthier diets
 and eat
fresh natural
Accept comma addition
fresh, natural
 foods like fruits and vegetables face minor
health
Use synonyms
 concerns when compared to those who hang on to the processed foods. In Conclusion, People in the present eat more processed
food
Use synonyms
 which is easily accessible due to the sedentary lifestyle of majority of couples in family going to work and
this
Linking Words
 in turn has
lot
Suggestion
lots
 of negative impact on people's
health
Use synonyms
 like obesity and many other
health
Use synonyms
 concerns like diabetes which has become common in
this
Linking Words
 generation.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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