IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Both the poor and rich find the accessibility into university difficult. Do you agree or disagree?

#accessibility #university
Everyone deserves the right to get admission in colleges and universities. It is argued that students belong to high society as well as lower class find problem to get entry into universities for study. I do not agree with the statement and discuss my opinion in following paragraphs. At present, the primary goal of almost every private educational
institution
Suggestion
instituting
institutionalizing
institutional
 has become to earn more and more
money
.
Therefore
, it is easier for students who belong to rich families to get entry into universities because they are able to pay as much
money
 as the
university
 wants.
Moreover
, high class families have strong connections to charities, fundraisers or
university
's employees.
As a result
, they work as reference for rich family students to enter into universities for
further
 education. In the contrast, getting admission in reputed
university
 or college become the situation of do or die for students who belong to poor families. To quench
this
 thirst, they have to put their all the endeavours
such
 as getting high scores, win prizes in study or activities in order to get scholarships at prominent educational institutes. The statistics reveal that most of the poor students have to drop out from universities when they are not able to pay fees. Due to the lack of
money
, they become unable to fulfil their dream of getting educated in the desired
university
 or college. To recapitulate, educational centres should pay heed to admissions on the basis of the potential and the marks of the students
instead
money
.
Submitted by gill.preet5716 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: