IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

*In many cities an increasing number of people do not know their neighbours and there is lack of a sense of community.* *What are the causes of this problem?* *How can it be solved?*

#*in #cities #people #neighbours #lack #sense #community #*what #*how
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People living in cities have lost the sense of community probably due to hectic routine. It is commonly observed that they have to wake up early morning to reach the office and come back very late in the evening. They, in fact, get very limited time to interact even with family members so over the weekend they prefer to spend time with the family.
Hence
Linking Words
, they may not even see the people living
next
Linking Words
 door.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a general trend amongst people nowadays is that they prefer to spend time alone, interacting with others on social media websites like Facebook and Instagram.
This
Linking Words
 probably is more exciting and interesting to them compared to meet people in neighbourhoods Another reason for reduced interaction may be that in newly established housing societies, people migrate from several different areas of the country and are from different backgrounds. These people find it difficult to come out of their comfort zones to meet others.
For example
Linking Words
, they may not share mutual interests in politics, food so would preferably avoid seeing each other. The sense of community is an important factor as it is extremely difficult to live in isolation. It can be inculcated if individuals living in a locality have gatherings once in a week, where they can meet. It can a religious gathering just like Friday prayers for Muslims or in church every Sunday. Society can establish a board of elderly people who are in every house and mostly free, to organize get together.
This
Linking Words
 can be in the form of a Hi-Tea or dinners, where every one`s attendance should be mandatory.
This
Linking Words
 will probably improve the situation. In conclusion, there are a number of reasons for men becoming unsocial and it can be controlled by a group of men working together
otherwise
Linking Words
 the isolation will increase at an alarming rate which has serious health consequences.
Submitted by eden2029 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: