In a public-funded healthcare system, people who are willing to pay for the best and fast treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Rich
people
, for any privileged
healthcare
service
, should turn to private
healthcare
facilities
and the public
healthcare
facilities
should equally treat the citizens regardless
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
wealth and status. If affluent
people
are given priority in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
public-funded medical care, the poor would be deprived of their rights to get medical treatment and
that is
why I totally disagree with the notion that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exclusive
healthcare
in
Add an article
the public
a public
show examples
public funded
Add a hyphen
public-funded
show examples
system should be given to those who can pay more money.
To begin
with, a government has an obligation to ensure
healthcare
service
for all of its citizens. If better medical services in a
public
Replace the word
publicly
show examples
funded system are for
sell
Replace the word
sale
show examples
, it would only degrade the
overall
healthcare
service
in a country and symbolise a weak and corrupt administration.
Furthermore
, any public
service
, including
healthcare
, is run by taxpayers' money and offering exclusive services to rich
people
would create a backdoor for corruption.
Similarly
, it would deprive citizens of getting the
service
at all as rich
people
would start consuming the whole facility. With regards to prioritise medical
service
, only rich
people
can afford that and most of the poor cannot even think of getting it. So, only an autocratic government whose sole purpose is to make money and
exercising
Wrong verb form
exercise
show examples
power rather than serving the
people
would plan to actually execute
such
a detrimental and whimsical plan. Having said that,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
private
Change the adjective
privately
show examples
funded exclusive and expensive medical
facilities
are always there and wealthy
people
can avail
this
Change preposition
of this
show examples
service
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
anytime they want.
This
is why adopting money-can-buy-better-
service
in a
public
Replace the word
publicly
show examples
funded
healthcare
system is perhaps the step to
destroy
Wrong verb form
destroying
show examples
a fair medical
service
in a country.
To conclude
, health care is a sensitive sector and any policy that can reduce its
overall
quality of
service
should always be discarded. In my personal opinion, and I am sure it would
also
reflect the opinion of the majority in my country, prioritised medical
service
in a
public
Replace the word
publicly
show examples
funded settlement should never be implemented as it has a severe negative effect that would hinder poor
people
from getting
healthcare
facilities
at all.
Submitted by tongmek158 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
The essay should present more specific examples or evidence to support the points made. Including data, studies, or real-world examples would strengthen the argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Consider varying sentence structures and using more advanced vocabulary to enhance the writing style. This can help to make the essay more engaging and sophisticated.
logical structure
While the essay is well-structured, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea with clear and logical connections to the other ideas. This will improve clarity and coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
complete response
The writer provides a comprehensive response to the task, addressing both the ethical implications and potential consequences of a tiered healthcare system.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Healthcare system
  • Public-funded
  • Private healthcare
  • Two-tier system
  • Equity
  • Efficiency
  • Universal access
  • Resource allocation
  • Quality of care
  • Queue skipping
  • Economic impact
  • Ethical considerations
  • Accessibility
  • Public investment
  • Health outcomes
  • Social inequality
  • Health insurance
  • Privilege
  • Funding
  • Resource distribution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: