Some people think that it is a good thing for senior manager to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people would argue that employers have to pay more for managers with third-level education than other
employees
Use synonyms
.
this
Linking Words
essay totally disagrees with
this
Linking Words
statement because many
workers
Use synonyms
do a lot of things more than their
manager
Use synonyms
, and they stay late at
work
Use synonyms
or on the
work
Use synonyms
site under sunlight. Companies should give senior managers high
salaries
Use synonyms
because they have high education levels and many
work
Use synonyms
responsibilities,
this
Linking Words
puts them under pressure and affects their mental health.
For example
Linking Words
, there are many
employees
Use synonyms
in a big workplace and the
manager
Use synonyms
should check their
work
Use synonyms
progress.
However
Linking Words
, the
manager
Use synonyms
's responsibilities are divided among other
workers
Use synonyms
and they do it for them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other
employees
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
harder than their
manager
Use synonyms
and they stay late at
work
Use synonyms
to complete their
work
Use synonyms
, which will affect their health and social life, because their bosses give them many things to
work
Use synonyms
on,
while
Linking Words
they are living early to enjoy in their life.
For instance
Linking Words
, I had
work
Use synonyms
in a factory and my boss came late and checked quickly on everything
then
Linking Words
gave me a new list to do, so I had to
work
Use synonyms
at night to finish their
work
Use synonyms
. I agree with that because
salaries
Use synonyms
should depend on
workers
Use synonyms
' tasks , not on their qualifications. In conclusion, even though some people agree with higher
salaries
Use synonyms
for senior managers,
this
Linking Words
is unfair to other
workers
Use synonyms
because they
work
Use synonyms
too much and it is recommended that governments make
salaries
Use synonyms
regulation depends on
employees
Use synonyms
' tasks not only their education level.
Submitted by saja.alotaibi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Strengthen logical connections between ideas: While the main points are clear, connecting them more smoothly will help the reader follow your argument better. Use transition words like 'however,' 'moreover,' and 'consequently' more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph structure: Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is supported by evidence or explanation. This will enhance the overall coherence and flow of the essay.
task achievement
Clarify your stance from the beginning: Make your disagreement with the statement clearer in the introduction to set the tone for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
Develop examples further: While examples are given, more detail and relevance to the argument would make them stronger. Be more specific to show deeper understanding.
task achievement
Clear position and argument: Your stance on the issue is clear, and you provide reasons for your disagreement, which shows critical thinking.
task achievement
Use of personal experience: Including personal experience helps illustrate your point and make your argument more relatable.
coherence cohesion
Structured paragraphs: Despite needing improvement, your paragraphs are focused on single points, which is good for clarity.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: