Some people think that it is a good thing for senior manager to have much higher salaries than other workers in a company. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people would argue that employers have to pay more for managers with third-level education than other
employees
. Use synonyms
this
essay totally disagrees with Linking Words
this
statement because many Linking Words
workers
do a lot of things more than their Use synonyms
manager
, and they stay late at Use synonyms
work
or on the Use synonyms
work
site under sunlight.
Companies should give senior managers high Use synonyms
salaries
because they have high education levels and many Use synonyms
work
responsibilities, Use synonyms
this
puts them under pressure and affects their mental health. Linking Words
For example
, there are many Linking Words
employees
in a big workplace and the Use synonyms
manager
should check their Use synonyms
work
progress. Use synonyms
However
, the Linking Words
manager
's responsibilities are divided among other Use synonyms
workers
and they do it for them.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, other Linking Words
employees
Use synonyms
work
harder than their Use synonyms
manager
and they stay late at Use synonyms
work
to complete their Use synonyms
work
, which will affect their health and social life, because their bosses give them many things to Use synonyms
work
on, Use synonyms
while
they are living early to enjoy in their life. Linking Words
For instance
, I had Linking Words
work
in a factory and my boss came late and checked quickly on everything Use synonyms
then
gave me a new list to do, so I had to Linking Words
work
at night to finish their Use synonyms
work
. I agree with that because Use synonyms
salaries
should depend on Use synonyms
workers
' tasks , not on their qualifications.
In conclusion, even though some people agree with higher Use synonyms
salaries
for senior managers, Use synonyms
this
is unfair to other Linking Words
workers
because they Use synonyms
work
too much and it is recommended that governments make Use synonyms
salaries
regulation depends on Use synonyms
employees
' tasks not only their education level.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
Strengthen logical connections between ideas: While the main points are clear, connecting them more smoothly will help the reader follow your argument better. Use transition words like 'however,' 'moreover,' and 'consequently' more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Improve paragraph structure: Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is supported by evidence or explanation. This will enhance the overall coherence and flow of the essay.
task achievement
Clarify your stance from the beginning: Make your disagreement with the statement clearer in the introduction to set the tone for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
Develop examples further: While examples are given, more detail and relevance to the argument would make them stronger. Be more specific to show deeper understanding.
task achievement
Clear position and argument: Your stance on the issue is clear, and you provide reasons for your disagreement, which shows critical thinking.
task achievement
Use of personal experience: Including personal experience helps illustrate your point and make your argument more relatable.
coherence cohesion
Structured paragraphs: Despite needing improvement, your paragraphs are focused on single points, which is good for clarity.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?