Some argue that having substantial wealth and limited leisure time is preferable to having less money but more free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In contemporary society, there is an ongoing debate regarding whether possessing considerable
wealth
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and sacrificing
leisure
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time
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is superior to having less money but more free
time
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.
While
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some advocate for the former, I firmly disagree and believe that prioritizing
leisure
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time
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over
wealth
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leads to a more fulfilling and balanced
life
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. Those in
favor
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favour

The spelling of favor is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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of
wealth
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argue that it enables
individuals
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to indulge in extravagant experiences and create lasting memories. They assert that with ample financial resources, one can afford luxurious vacations and extravagant lifestyles.
However
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,
this
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perspective fails to recognize the inherent value of
leisure
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time
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itself.
While
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money can provide material comfort, it cannot buy the intangible benefits of relaxation, personal growth, and meaningful relationships that come with
leisure
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time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
On the contrary
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, having more free
time
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allows
individuals
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to pursue their passions, nurture relationships, and prioritize their well-being.
Time
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is the most precious commodity, and those who have the luxury of free
time
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can invest it in activities that bring them joy and
fulfillment
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fulfilment

The spelling of fulfillment is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
.
For instance
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, spending quality
time
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with family and friends, pursuing hobbies, and engaging in self-care activities contribute to
overall
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happiness and well-being.
Moreover
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, research has shown that excessive focus on
wealth
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and career advancement often leads to stress, burnout, and dissatisfaction with
life
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. A study conducted by Harvard University found that
individuals
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who prioritize
leisure
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time
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and work-
life
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balance report higher levels of satisfaction and
overall
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well-being.
Thus
Linking Words

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, it is evident that quality
leisure
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time
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is essential for psychological and emotional health. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

wealth
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

may provide temporary pleasure and material comforts, it is the abundance of free
time
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that truly enriches
life
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. By prioritizing
leisure
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time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
individuals
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can cultivate meaningful experiences, nurture relationships, and achieve a sense of balance and
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment

The spelling of fulfillment is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I firmly believe that having less money but more free
time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

leads to a more fulfilling and satisfying
life
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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task achievement
Try to provide a bit more in-depth analysis or counterarguments to strengthen your stance further.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to include a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph for better clarity and flow.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or case studies to illustrate your points better.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and your stance, setting a clear context for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a logical structure that guides the reader through your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have made good use of research findings to support your argument, adding credibility to your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth
  • leisure time
  • financial security
  • quality of life
  • luxurious experiences
  • personal development
  • job satisfaction
  • burnout
  • relationship-building
  • simple pleasures
  • health issues
  • balance
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