Some argue that having substantial wealth and limited leisure time is preferable to having less money but more free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In contemporary society, there is an ongoing debate regarding whether possessing considerable
wealth
and sacrificing leisure
time
is superior to having less money but more free time
. While
some advocate for the former, I firmly disagree and believe that prioritizing leisure
time
over wealth
leads to a more fulfilling and balanced life
.
Those in favor
of Change the spelling
favour
wealth
argue that it enables individuals
to indulge in extravagant experiences and create lasting memories. They assert that with ample financial resources, one can afford luxurious vacations and extravagant lifestyles. However
, this
perspective fails to recognize the inherent value of leisure
time
itself. While
money can provide material comfort, it cannot buy the intangible benefits of relaxation, personal growth, and meaningful relationships that come with leisure
time
.
On the contrary
, having more free time
allows individuals
to pursue their passions, nurture relationships, and prioritize their well-being. Time
is the most precious commodity, and those who have the luxury of free time
can invest it in activities that bring them joy and fulfillment
. Change the spelling
fulfilment
For instance
, spending quality time
with family and friends, pursuing hobbies, and engaging in self-care activities contribute to overall
happiness and well-being.
Moreover
, research has shown that excessive focus on wealth
and career advancement often leads to stress, burnout, and dissatisfaction with life
. A study conducted by Harvard University found that individuals
who prioritize leisure
time
and work-life
balance report higher levels of satisfaction and overall
well-being. Thus
, it is evident that quality leisure
time
is essential for psychological and emotional health.
In conclusion, while
wealth
may provide temporary pleasure and material comforts, it is the abundance of free time
that truly enriches life
. By prioritizing leisure
time
, individuals
can cultivate meaningful experiences, nurture relationships, and achieve a sense of balance and fulfillment
. Change the spelling
fulfilment
Therefore
, I firmly believe that having less money but more free time
leads to a more fulfilling and satisfying life
.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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Try to provide a bit more in-depth analysis or counterarguments to strengthen your stance further.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to include a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph for better clarity and flow.
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Include more specific examples or case studies to illustrate your points better.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and your stance, setting a clear context for the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a logical structure that guides the reader through your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have made good use of research findings to support your argument, adding credibility to your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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