IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Nowadays a few people take their family with them to abroad whenever they go for a business trip. What are the advantages and disadvantages on them and on their family.

#people #business #trip
In today's scenario, people travel to overseas for their job related assignments. Some persons go
with
Suggestion
to
 his families, when occupied by long projects. While, there are many benefits like
home made
made or produced in the home or by yourself
homemade
food
, emotional support and comfort level, but it certainly has some drawbacks. Nowadays a few people take their family with them to abroad whenever they go for a business trip. What are the advantages and disadvantages
on
Suggestion
of
to
for
 them and on their family.
To begin
 with, there are various benefits, the most predominant one of them is that, Employees do not need to be worried about home made
food
 because fresh and healthy
food
 could be enjoyed with family.
Also
, avoid junk
food
, which can
gives
Suggestion
give
 birth to many diseases
such
 as, obesity, cancer and joint aches.
Secondly
, get
opportunity
Suggestion
the opportunity
 to learn about new cultures and languages.
For example
, when a person moves to Canada with his family, there
mostly
Suggestion
most
 residents speak English
language
 if
kids
Suggestion
the kids
 of the family will listen and learn that
language
, which will enhance their employment opportunities in
future
Suggestion
the future
.
Moreover
, in difficult situations, family can support each other, because in
modern era
Suggestion
the modern era
 a lot of people are suffering from stress and depression when they live alone. If an individual has family in new
country
Accept comma addition
country, then
then
 members of the family can give support financially as well as emotionally.
On the other hand
, it is certainly true that there are
few drawbacks
Suggestion
a few drawbacks
, when
family move
Suggestion
the family move
a family move
 at new place they have to adjust in
strange environment
Suggestion
a strange environment
 and it becomes
hart
not easy; requiring great physical or mental effort to accomplish or comprehend or endure
hard
 to find
job especially
Suggestion
a job, especially
a job especially
, for different
language
 people, because members need to learn that
language
 in which
country
 they want to work.
For example
, very few Indian people know how to speak
French
Suggestion
the French language
language
 if they move to Qubec, Canada. It is very hard to find work for them. To conclude, while there are few negative consequences, yet I think people have more
benefits namely
Accept comma addition
benefits, namely
; get experience of
new
Suggestion
a new country
country
, culture and
language
, when they move to
foreign
Suggestion
a foreign country
foreign countries
country
 with their families.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: